the guide

Three times over the past week I felt strongly to follow the leading of the Paraclete in my life.  The early church identified the Paraclete as the Holy Spirit.  It appears in the N.T. where it may be translated in English as “Counselor”, “Helper”, or “Comforter”.  I tend to think of the Paraclete as more of a guide than anything else.  

On Saturday during my run I felt so strongly to add into Sunday’s message something for just one person.  I felt such a strong leading to let someone know that God truly loved them despite their imperfections.  On Monday morning one of our leaders texted me saying, “I have always known that God loves me, but I really never understood His love for me.  I needed to hear it.  I didn’t know I needed to hear it.  During worship I lifted my hands up to tell him back, “I love you too” and it was like He gave me a big giant God hug!  Thank you for being a servant to Him and saying what He would have you say.”

I also stated a few other things for a specific person and got texted Sunday night, “Thanks bro I needed that”.  A few blog entries ago I wrote on “I’m Waiting on You” and felt strongly to write it for a specific person.  I had delayed writing that blog for several months.  The next day I received a response saying, “I was the one” from a friend.

It makes me think of all the preparation put into a message or things we try to say based on our own wisdom, experience or lack of, or something good someone else said we can pass along.  What if we neglected time spent in prayer?  What if we neglected time in His word?  In those moments is when he speaks to our hearts…… but here’s the thing I’m learning.  When I neglect those sweet moments crying out in desperation for God to anoint my lips it doesn’t just hurt me from hearing something……. it costs that one person or maybe far more, perhaps an entire church hearing that one Paraclete-led word.  Lives aren’t altared because of anything clever man has to say, but lives are transformed as the Paraclete speaks through man.  

I’m truly looking forward to continuing to hear the voice of God.  I’m also looking forward to reading a book on my list called Wild Goose Chase - all about the holy spirit.

Do you ever wander what would happen if we stopped ignoring that leading?  What if we truly followed it every time we heard it?  What risks would we take?  What sins would we avoid?  I’m thinking this is a future teaching series.

one need, one person at a time

 

Have you ever had one of those days that you would put on repeat over and over again?  Last Thursday was one of those days.  Anthony and I took our church directory and began making calls one after the next with this question in mind, “Do you have a need?  Is their anything we can help you with?  A lawn?  Repairs?  Help with groceries?  Unpaid bills?  We were able to hit on several different needs.  One single dad had an injured wrist so we grabbed our weed eaters and met a need.  His girlfriend later told a friend, “Yeah I was losing faith in humanity one person at a time then they showed up.  It was a wake up call”.  Another single mom we were able to pray with in person before going off to see a doctor.  Another we suprised with a gift card to her favorite resteraunt.  Another just lost her father so we dropped by some plants for we know she loves to garden.  Another we dropped by with her favorite dessert and say happy birthday!  Several other single mom’s we went to Wal-mart and loaded up on diapers and wipes and did a diaper drive by.  I’m still trying to forget all the people’s looks at two shaved headed guys went out with a cart load of diapers!  Another we dropped by a little card with 2 car payments fully paid.  

I’ve never fully understood until going around our community talking with people long before The Well came into existence that….. people just really don’t care about your church name or building…. until they see you care for them first.  They don’t care about an invite card until you’ve invited yourself to meet a need for them.  They don’t care how much you have to say, until they see your hands and feet talking.  Then they watch to see if it was about them coming to your church.  Then they watch even longer if they don’t show up if you’ll serve them again or did you already move on to someone else.  I’m looking forward to Thursdays as I team up with a close friend to link arms to serve people within our church and community one person at a time with the authentic love of Christ.  I’m also looking forward to our entire church getting bit by the bug of serving.  It’s contagious and then the bug of giving creeps in and then it is just simply crazy.  Call it crazy love if you will.  I still can’t believe I get to be apart of a church like this.  I still can’t believe Jesus allows us to represent him and actually be the church.

sunday @ the well

the soap method

I’m looking forward to hearing stories as we are all in by drinking from spiritual growths.  I refuse to pastor a church and groom those under my leadership to become “high chair feeders”.  There’s churches all over America that have people attending that only open their Bibles on Sunday.  We’ve agreed to dive in and apply God’s word through using a method using the word SOAP and become self-feeders.  Why don’t you give it a try?

generosity from the wellers

Who says that just because it is a holiday weekend and a large majority of people are at the lake that people can’t be generous?  Over the past 4 weeks our weekly offerings have increased and thrills me knowing that we can continue to pour out.  This past week we got to love on some single mom’s by drenching them with the authentic love of Christ by giving them diapers and wipes. Thank you to a church that believers in giving away what we have so that others can receive.

unselfish love from volunteers

One of my highlights this morning was one of the small things.  Billy noticed that our church laptop was going to be in the hot heat all week as we left in the trailer in a case.  He was going to dig it out later.  No…… all of us volunteers dug in so he didn’t have to.  Love it!

about to take the plunge

Five more people signed up to get water baptized at the lake next weekend.  I’m so thankful that people are willing to go public with their faith and take steps in their spiritual growths!  It should be fun to meet in a public place and let others around us see the transformation of people’s lives as we commit our lives to him!

gateway supporters

One of four churches that have given to The Well endeavor and supports us monthly is Gateway Fellowship in Helotes, Texas.  It was an honor to have several Gatewayers be our guests this morning!

“i’m waiting on you”

During the early summer of 2007 I found myself driving a pick up truck driving all over northeast Oklahoma performing routine insurance inspections.  It allowed me to be away from people and be safe.  I never had to deal with much conflict and it allowed me to run from past dreams, passions, and a call on my life to do so much more.  I didn’t know the next step to take.  All my energies were focused on triathlon because it made me feel good as I was losing weight and gave me something to be passionate about.  I believe when we lose passion and our life gets put on hold we look for something else that we can live for.  When I found myself driving to a church office toward the end of 2004 and seeing a 30,000 square feet student center building being built I thought that was suppose to be my dream.  I found myself locked inside a “church bubble” and everyone I knew already knew Christ.  We packed our bags and headed north with nothing.  

I searched frantically looking at campus ministry opportunities and found none.  I looked at sports ministries and found none.  I even looked into traditional church ministry again as I thought I had reached a dead end.  Then the pressure of finances and having a young family drove me to the newspaper searching for courier jobs, delivery positions, and I still remember having an interview with Fed Ex and Swan’s dairy.  I decided then that my past, my calling, and my passion of the unknown would be put on hold.  I landed the job and drove around waiting on God to speak to me.  Every day I prayed, “God I know you’ve got more for my life than this.  I’m waiting on you I’ll do whatever you want me to do!”  My self-esteem was only hanging on by what I achieved through triathlon and my relationship with God that seemed to be dwindling because for my whole life it was a relationship determined by “church”.  

I remember it like it was yesterday.  It gives me chills.  I was driving up near Ponca City Oklahoma and in the quiet voice of my heavenly father that I was so desperately waiting to hear from I heard him say, “Ricky I’ve given you opportunities and you’ve run. You’ve quit on opportunities because you got scared.  You are allowing the demons of your past to haunt you and causing you to miss out on your full potential.”  I began to write down some very difficult questions to myself that day in my truck.  Questions no one wants to ask themselves, but I knew in order to get a hold of my own self-defeating mentality I had to go there.  No longer could I look at life as a victim.  I came across that little 1/2 sheet piece of paper a few weeks ago and I shed a tear as the changes began taking place.  Here’s those questions:

1.  Did I fail at the past churches I held positions at?  If so how?  Why?  What lessons can be learned?

2.  Am I intimidated by certain types of people, perhaps with more leadership skills than I?  Do they make me insecure?

3.  Am I hiding in my present situation where it’s comfortable & secure so I won’t have to deal with my past?

4.  Am I truly reaching out to those far from God now than when I was a Student Pastor?

5.  Is Claremore our comfortable place of refuge you keep bringing us back too or….. the long-term place of living?

6.  Are there relationships in my life that need to be mended?  People I need to forgive?

7.  Am I growing as a leader?  More importantly as a child of God?

8.  Do I have personal demons that are eating me alive?

9.  Am I a selfish husband?  Daddy?  In what ways do I need to change?

10.  What legacy am I leaving?

11.  What are my long-term goals, dreams, vision for my life and my family?

12.  What can I do with my past experience, education, and ordination to make the biggest impact?

13  How can I help Amy reach her full potential and support her giftings?

3 months later I shared these questions with Amy as she began cry and we began to confront them.  On that same night I felt God say, “Stop waiting on me anymore Ricky.  I’m waiting on you.  Waiting on you to make the changes you know you need to make.  When you do, there’s something waiting – a dream I’ll put in your heart – that will blow you away.  It will be everything I’ve been preparing in my timing for you.  So start making the changes and stop waiting on me to do something.  I’m waiting on you.”  The endeavor of The Well had begun and I didn’t even know it.  2 months after that night through a series of fasting, middle of the night prayer wake-up calls, long conversations, and others speaking into my life – The Well was birthed in our hearts.

Why do I say all of this?  I believe someone that reads the daily pursuit regularly needed to hear all of this.  If it is just one person.  Take it and run with it.  Go be everything he’s created you to be.  If you are someone on the other end of it, be patient as the journey unfolds, not always fun, but your time is coming and just hang in there!

How To Last in Ministry

Recently I came across an article that Rick Warren wrote up.  This man won my respect a year ago when I listened to a podcast stating the fact that he paid back his church all the year’s paid salary from the selling of his books.  5 years ago Rick started praying for 50 young emerging pastors that he believed were going to make the big difference in the kingdom in years to come.  Since then, almost half of them have either flamed out or burned out.  So, how do we last in ministry?



1. ENJOY THE GRACE OF GOD.

0.Driven-ness comes from a lack of understanding or experiencing God’s grace.  Some people have preached the grace of God their whole lives and never experienced it or felt it.  You need to enjoy Gods’ grace.

0.Never confuse prominence with significance. You may never have a church of 1,000 people or you may never be on the cover of Christianity Today – but don’t confuse your significance with prominence.

0.If you don’t settle this issue…you will not last!

0.Ministry is received, it is not achieved.  God gives it to us as a gift.  We are valuable and God loves us.  God likes you!  He really likes you!

0.I used to go into my kids room and just watch them sleep.  I loved them no matter how good or bad they were.  I loved them because they are my kids!  I helped create them.

2. BE AUTHENTIC.

0.Obvious imperfections in the pastor can be a very good thing.  It tells people that they can be used by God.  People will think, “if God can use Rick, God can use me.”

0.When you live with authenticity it gets better every year; when you don’t it gets worse every year.

0.You can fake love for a few years…but not for long.

3. REMEMBER IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

0.When you start to think it’s about you – you get either bitter or prideful.

0.The average pastor leaves the church because of seven critics.  That’s too bad.  On the other hand if the pastor stays, the critics leave.

0.II Corinthians 4:5 – “we are your servants.”

0.Lots of guys start out as servants and become stars.

0.Paul says, “I do it for Jesus sake”  II Corinthians 4:5 (NIV)

0.People always want the success without the suffering.

0.Stop comparing yourself to others.

0.If you are going to have a Christ-like ministry, you will be criticized.  The religious leaders were the one’s that criticized him.  Why?  For being associated with “bad people”.  Jesus was called “the friend of a sinner.”

0.You can be a friend of someone without buying into all that they believe.

0.If you have no friends who are unbelievers or disreputable – you are not Christ-like.

0.Ignore your critics and remember who you are trying to impress.

4. ACCEPT YOUR HUMAN LIMITATIONS

0.You are not a superstar…you are human.

0.know your limits and know your warning signs.

0.Phases of how I dealt with my weaknesses:

0.1st – I denied my weaknesses

0.2nd – I hid my weaknesses.

0.3rd – I accepted my weaknesses.

0.Now – I glory in my weaknesses.

0.When God makes a mushroom it takes 6 hours; when God wants to grow an oak tree it takes him 60 years.  And it will take time for God to build a church.

0.While God is growing a church he is also growing you!

5. DO EVERYTHING OUT OF LOVE.

0.Where do you start?  How about with your wife. Love your wife. “Guys, listen to your wife…she is the Holy Spirit.”

0.The people are not there for your benefit; you are there for their benefit.

0.It takes unselfish church to grow.  The church that doesn’t want to grow is saying to the rest of the world, “Go to Hell!”

0.Every church caters to somebody – who are you catering to?

6. MAKE TIME FOR DAILY RENEWAL

0.Formula for renewal:  divert daily, withdraw weekly, abandon annually.

0.If you work with your mind – use your hands to de-stress.

0.Daily renewal – take a day off every week.  What is your sabbath.  If you are not taking a day off every week you are breaking one of the 10 commandments. 

0.II Corinthians 4:16 – “we are being renewed day by day”.

0.Got to have two things for renewal:

0.Plan – what is your plan for personal renewal?

0.Partner – who is it that will hold you accountable?

0.Don’t wait for someone to build a group who will partner with you.  Do it yourself.

0.Ecclesiastes 4:12

7. LIVE IN LIGHT OF ETERNITY

0.”Fatigue makes a coward of us all” – Vince Lombardi

0.3 motivation

0.internal motivation

0.external motivation

0.eternal motivation

0.Only he who sees the invisible can achieve the impossible.

0.”You don’t determine a man’s greatness by his count or by his wealth – you determine his greatness by what it takes to discourage him.”

0.Great people are just ordinary people who won’t give up.

DON’T GIVE UP.  DON’T GIVE UP.  DON’T GIVE UP.

sunday @ the well

 One of the biggest surprises that made me realize that this would be no ordinary Sunday as the fact that some of my dear friends showed up at 9:55!  I told them I didn’t know what to do with myself as I knew there grand entrance at 10:15 would not be happening.  They took it like I knew they would and we laughed knowing the fact that they came and are so faithful means more than anything else.

 

It has become one of the most covetous times of my entire week at 9:30 on Sunday mornings.  During that small window the army of servants that are apart of Team Well join together in prayer.  At that moment we look into each other’s eyes knowing it isn’t about what we do at that moment but who we are.  As I looked around there was two facts that were undeniable: these people loved each other and they were authentically happy to be there.  We each matter to one another and are serving for an audience of one.  It reminds of the “why” behind all the set up, all the preparation, we get to be apart of life change and pour out Christ’s love.  Someone’s perception of church might just be changed today.  Last week we held a “gifts link” and every single person that said they wanted to volunteer showed up today – it blew me away!  On top of that our top 3 opportunities got filled: another trailer team volunteer, computer guru, and I’m proud to say we now have a Nursery Director!

 Last week someone wrote on a communication card needing help with the air condition.  Within a day calls and emails were being made, one of our groups was chopping at the bit to help this couple.  Another couple is needing help with property clean-up and guys are volunteering with trailers, chainsaw’s, and lawn mowers.  Our church is getting it faster than I ever thought they would.  It isn’t difficult.  People are tired of hearing about God’s love with mouths, they want to see it with hands and feet.  It’s time – to serve our community one person at a time!  You know I enjoy doing church, but it feels so much better to actually be it!

 We are coming to the tail end of our All In Series and I decided to be led of the Holy Spirit and jump the gun a little early.  Knowing some will be gone for the 4th after hitting our 4th G “Givings” we challenged our infant church with expectations and commitment.  I have wrestled with this idea for a long time and even rejected the thought of it a year ago.  However, I’ve reached a place where I believe if anything is communicated with the right heart and people believe in you and your vision they will place trust in the direction God is leading.  We handed out our covenants to be apart of The Well family.  

I’m humbled by the response of those that signed to be All In with our G’s.  As a reminder and a token everyone that wanted to take a poker chip could take them unifying us together in one heart and one mind.  There’s no more questions on what we are all about as a church and where God is leading us.  My prayer and dream is that if we can be ALL IN the potential for our church to be ALL OUT is beyond our imagination as we serve our community one person at a time!

 

Being a church of poor college students, unchurched who have no concept of tithing, dechurched who have lost trust in the credibility of the concept, many still wandering if this is the church for them, and the economic status makes for a challenging recipe for finances.  As Amy shared our past mistakes it became evident this wasn’t about what we could get from the church but what we wanted for them.  My prayer is that people wouldn’t live in the bondage but freedom there is and experience the joy of giving rather than spending.  We laid out a 60 day tithe challenge and I’m anxious to see those that take us up on this.  I knew things mentioned might make or break us but we ended up receiving one of the largest offerings in the history of our young church.  We used an object lesson I heard my own father use when I was 12 years old with candy.  One young boy got an answer correct and won 10 packages of M&M’s.  At the end of our gathering one of our ushers approached me with an envelope.  It was this little boy’s tithe and in it – was 1 package of M&M’s.  If our whole church can be ALL IN and be child-like and unselfish watch out Roger’s County you will be saturated with the generosity and gushing love of a church!

One of my favorite things as a Pastor is getting to hear the true stories of transformation.  Here’s a few on the day that make me want to get up every morning: A new volunteer that hasn’t been in church in 3 years told me the reason why is because she was involved in a youth group and was told she was too old to work with youth anymore and felt rejected.  I asked her why The Well?  She answered quickly, “Because I am accepted, everyone’s accepted here”.  I was able to have several conversations with some couples that are currently wounded and beyond hurt from the past.  They are precious people and I’m thankful God is using Amy and I’s past, along with many other’s, to create a hospital for the hurting.  They are being healed one day at a time.  One of our ushers yelled to me as soon as the gathering was over, “Ricky” grabbed my shoulders looked at me square in the eyes with his watering, “My friend prayed today”.  I knew how monumental of a moment this was.  There’s no pressure at The Well just love, patience, and acceptance.  People are taking steps in their timing not ours.  We are attempting to make them feel belonged long before they believe.  That’s a little opposite than the way many of us were raised.  Another man poured out his heart with repentence on his desire to save his relationship and get passed addiction.  Did I mention I love being a Pastor!

The afternoon was spent getting welts with paintballs with a group of guys I’ve grown to adore and love, even if they are physically hurting me.  The evening was spent with some of the greatest team leaders and group leaders I’ve ever known.  We ate together, laughed, and spent almost the entire evening celebrating stories of life change and realizing that God has truly called us to something special and that we have it and there’s some crazy love that is about to be poured out very soon on each other and this community.

week of frog hunting

 I once heard some good advice from someone further down the road than me.  He has pastored for over 35 years and he said everyone needs time of renewals.  His formula given is: divert daily, withdraw weekly, and abandon annually.  Everyone of us need times to unplug from our doing and just be.  I’m thankful for the opportunity my family had to head a few hours away and do just that.  It caused me to appreciate and love my wife and my boys that much more.  Although staying in a cabin for an extended amount of time will press your limits – we had a blast!  

I will not forget building a fire with Camden and roasting mellows with Cale.  The last night we turned into “Frog Hunters” and Camden insisted that they become sacrifices in the open fire – ahhhh memories.  It was blazin hot but the refreshment of the pool cooled us all off.  I feel refreshed and recharged as we are now home and looking to get back into meeting needs one at a time as we serve the Claremore community.

sunday @ the well

volunteer appreciation
it was my pleasure to lift up the men and women that serve week in and week out @ the well. we’ve been honored to have over 50 put a towel around their waist at some point in our short history! we are volunteer led and being nomadic, homeless, portable they are our lifeline.

getting all in
what if every single attended moved from spectator to player? I have a dream that one day every person at the well is volunteering in some capacity. today we saw that percentage continue to increase! glad we could honor all of our father’s by encouraging them to step up their game.

take all of me
the band reminded us with this song that in order to be all in by being the body of Christ and using our gifts, we must first be all in to Jesus first!

unchurched vs. churched
it boggles my mind as I think of those that have come through the theater doors. churchy religious people have come and gone expecting everything and giving nothing. It is in those moments I wander how Christ must feel as he gave his life to his bride, only to see his so called followers ignore her. those that have accepted Christ have almost immediately become an eye or arm and served! our gifts director paves the way and hadn’t been in church in over 13 years!

meeting needs one at a time
everyone was challenged to write one need on the communication card. I’m excited as our church continues to love each other more than we love ourselves!

auditorium #2
it has become my prayer closet. when I was a kid I would over hear my father cry out in dependence for the holy spirit to guide him and put the words in his mouth to speak the message. I wept at yet another opportunity to represent the gospel to our precious family.

no crocodiles in surgery
immediately following our gathering cambo assisted me on his first hospital visit. as we held hands Camden says “I got it dad. Jesus touch all of us and help her. Please keep the crocodiles away amen”

uncle yet again

 Just a little shout out to say I became an Uncle yet again yesterday morning at 1:30am.  My sister Shara fought the good fight and proved to her brothers what true endurance really is all about.  Little Kaylee Ann was born weighing in at a whopping 5lbs 9oz and stretches out at 17 inches long.  My heart leaped across the state line as it left a little piece with the family.  I can’t wait to hold this little darling and give her kisses!  Congratulations Josh, Shara, Kelson, and Emily to the new addition to the Marhofer family!  What an incredible Father’s Day for Josh!

mr clean & yogi

About to go over my message one last time before tomorrow and head to T-town to see Brad & Morgan tie the knot.  I can’t wait to honor our father’s, as well as honor all of our volunteers.  Our Gifts Director Julie will be sharing her story and her journey of involvement into The Well and it should be quite interesting.  I love our church so much and was able to have a blast night with some men running around at Laser Quest.  ”Mr. Clean” took over 1200 shots the last game and my trigger finger is still a little soar.  If it involves a gun of any sort the men of our church come out in groves.  

 

After about a year and a half from first stepping out to pursue this endeavor of The Well my family will be loading up tomorrow after our gathering and headed to Eufaula Lake for our summer vacation.  A friend of mine awhile back told me it was the ideal place to take my little boys too.  So…. we’ll be headed to see Yogi and all his friends at the Jellystone State Park.  I guess you can say it was a compromise.  The boys still get to play, hike, ruff it a bit, fish, and use our camping equipment, however….. Amy still gets cable, a fridge, and an AC cabin.  Looking forward to getting in some long early morning tri-training, finish reading “Crazy Love” and “Servolution“, drink some strawberry-banana smoothies, play cards with the wife, play in the water with the boys, and stay up late watching some flicks.  It will be nice to get away from Claremore and unplug for a week.  I’ll probably post the Sunday @ The Well tomorrow and then depart from technology for the week to relax.