day 4: daniel fast

This morning I headed out early.  AFR has loaded us up this week, however, I look at these times driving as personal growth.  Rob, old friend from Ft. Worth, came up for a few days before Thanksgiving and let me know he was jealous of that.  I guess I truly do need to be far more grateful.  I usually spend the first 30 minutes or more in worship, followed by prayer.  

 Yesterday I felt like I had barely experienced a few drops from hearing from God.  This morning there was a 30 minute window of nothing but downpour.  I am feeling more and more strongly that God drops things in our spirit and hearts and we need to write them down immediately.  If we wait until the day gets out we might perhaps forget the most valuable information for that day.  I prayed as God inspired the authors of scripture to breath on me words for my future and personal vision.  I wasn’t trying to be high and mighty in my thinking, I just wanted to continue to hear from him as I am in sacrificial focus.  It was awesome to start writing God thoughts and just let them pen write. 

I spent some time on my computer doing AFR reports.  It was nice to have an hour or so working out, man that feels good to do again.  The next few hours were spent training Vlad and Jane.  I am so proud of both of them.  They have both lost nearly 20lbs. 

 I came home to discover Camden, “Nails”, as my brother calls him, hit his eye on his dresser.  He did this by running away from his mommy, perhaps a lesson learned in the life of a toddler.

2 peter 2-3 reflections

“they give the way of truth a bad name.  They’re only out for themselves” 2:2

·        Jesus, help me to never be one of these again.  I know at times I’ve most likely been found wanted.  Even as a student minister, there were times where I fell into the trap of legalism.  My fear is that I did more wrong than good.  Please forgive me and I pray that those students saw my heart despite my lack of wisdom.  I pray that you would always get the glory and honor and I would receive nothing. 

“lot, nearly driven out of his mind by the sexual filth and perversity” 2:7

·        Man I love this verse.  There’s another verse in job that says he basically bounced his eyes from sexual perversion.  It can be hard at times working as a personal trainer.  I have had to devote my entire focus on the individual I am training and let the background go.  As a guy and a follower of Christ I want to be pure to Amy and stay open with her and let her know what’s going on.  I can’t stand the guilt that comes with sexual impurity and it has been a battle for me and most guys since early on.  Jesus help me to absolutely despise it and not give it any place in my heart and mind. 

“so God knows how to rescue the godly from evil trials” 2:9

·        This is so simply stated, but so hard to apply at times.  There have been times where I know you are there, but just don’t sense it.  I know those are the times you are challenging me to walk not by sight but by faith.  I must trust in you with all my heart and lean not unto thine own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge you for you will direct my path. 

“they’ve left the main road and are directionless, they’re dried up fountains, they’re addicted to corruption, they’re enslaved.  Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command.  They prove the point of the proverbs.  A dog goes back to its own vomit.”  2:10-22 (bit and pieces)

·        That’s the thing if I choose to ever leave the “main road” or your will for my life I will find myself without purpose or direction.  You love me so much everyday you give me a choice to follow one road or another.  If I choose my own way I will find myself dried up.  This reminds me of when I graduated from high school and pursued my dreams of baseball.  You had called me into the ministry and to go to SAGU, but I resisted wanting to do my own thing.  I was like Jonah fleeing.  As a result I was a dried up pitcher!  Father, help me to encourage those that have no purpose and dream for their life, just like you helped me just a few months ago. 

“hold your minds in a state of undistracted attention” 3:1

·        I know that Peter is talking about your second coming and how we need to wake up thinking about this and stay focused so we won’t miss out.  Once again this reminds me of personal training.  I must keep so focused on my client that I am not letting my eyes wander around.  I wish sometimes females had to dress like they do in the middle east, just during this time!  One of my clients I train, I am constantly all over him about this.  It’s crazy to look at the guys in the room, that are so more focused on what’s going on around them, than there actual reason for working out.  But… perhaps for some that is their reason – sad. 

“long ago all the galaxies and this very planet were brought into existence out of watery chaos by God’s word.” 3:5

·        Simply beyond words father God.  You are incredible and my little mind can’t even begin to think about this.  It’s like every time I think about eternity.  My head hurts.  I just have to stop and realize you are so big and beyond us and we will never know all there is to know about you. 

“with God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day.  God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness.  He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back to the end because he doesn’t want anyone lost.  He’s giving everyone space and time to change.” 3:8-9

·        God I know you will be coming again.  I still remember the book 88 reasons why you’ll come back in 1988.  It’s hilarious that you are so plain about how know one knows, yet people still predict.  I do know though, that due to so many signs around us it can’t possibly be far out.  I would love to think it would be in my lifetime.  I just want to live in a way that I am constantly trying to “walk across the room” as Bill Hybels puts it.  Help me right now in my relationships.  I pray specifically for Vlad, Jim, and Todd right now. 

“do your very best to be found living at your best, in purity and peace.” 3:14

·        These two things can be so difficult.  I admit purity has been one of my biggest battles in life.  But I know with accountability, openness with Amy, and keeping focused I can live my best.  I tend to try and have harmony with others, don’t enjoy conflict, so I think peace is something that comes more naturally. 

“some things paul writes are difficult to understand.  Irresponsible people who don’t know what they are talking about twist them every which way.  They do it to the rest of the scriptures, too, destroying themselves as they do it.”  3:15-16

 No doubt.  I don’t want to ever twist words to fit my own life.  Father I just read a book by Rob Bell entitled, “Velvitt Elvis” and I loved that he was so hard on this.  Help me to have a huge hunger for your word and understanding.  Help me to meditate on scriptures and not just read them to fit me.  I know at times that I just read scripture and immediately jump to application and don’t observe it long enough to really gets its context.  Help me to have more patience. 

day 3: daniel fast

Today was pretty much a long day hitting the road doing inspections.  I had a great time of prayer and worship and was able to listen to a few pod casts on house churches.  I agree with some of the idea behind this thinking, but probably disagree more.  There’s always things we can learn from everyone around us.  It gave me some deeper thought about my future none-the-less. 

I was pretty tuckered when I got home.  Amy made some stew and headed to the Rec to swim.  I am so proud of her for wanting to get more active!  She’s even mentioned doing the Spring Fever Tri in April.  I would love to do it with her.  Well, that’s it for the day, going to spend some more time with the fam and hit the pillow a little earlier tonight.

2 peter 1 reflections

“grace and peace to you many times over as you deepen in your  experience with god” 1:2

• When I think of the word deep it brings the ocean to mind.  I would love to scuba dive at least once in my life.  I’m amazed in the past at watching discovery shoes and seeing the discoveries made.  There’s so much under the water and perhaps kinds of fish that have yet to be know.  In the same way father, there’s so much more to learn about you and to discover.  I want to continue to dive deeper to see the unknown.

“the best invitation we ever received!  Your tickets to participation in the life of god” 1:3-4

·        One of the best invites I ever got was on numerous occasions to see the Denver Broncos play on Monday nights when I was living in Colorado.  My friend Gabe had season tickets and would get me in on some games.  The best one was against the Raiders, a huge fight broke out it was awesome.  I actually saw a cop yank down a dude from the back.  Fans went nuts.  The cool part about you is that you don’t just give me an invite and a ticket – you let me play the game. 

“so don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others.” 1:5-7

·        Father help me to take advantage of every moment of my day to learn and grow.  I am striving to have character in my job, understanding of your word, discipline in my eating, patience with my family, friendliness to all people, a servant’s love. So that I may set an example to all of those in my realm of influence.  More than that father, I want to be more like you – it is so hard,  but all I can do is try.

day two: daniel fast

this morning i woke up with a pretty bad headache, due to the change in diet.  i felt sluggish throughout the day.  i was able to engulf the book, “you don’t need a title to be a leader”.  it was a very good read – challenged me in quite a few areas.  i’m feeling more and more lead in my heart to pursue the community of Claremore and not worry about a platform or position.  if i am a true leader than it shouldn’t matter anyway.  i have been waiting to hear from greg tiffany about chi alpha, but perhaps i shouldn’t wait anymore.  i feel like i need to just begin reaching out to my neighborhood of springbrook – perhaps a small group or block party.  i also feel led to begin some sort of college group with the wandering sheep from the old flock. 

at age 22 you called me to the A/G church of Claremore to be the youth pastor.  seven years later i believe you’re calling me to the community of Claremore with no position.  i’m so eager to begin volunteering and serving to meet the needs of this community.  i’m not sure of the specifics but believe you will direct as i take risks forward.

i’m pretty tired tonight.  i trained vlad at platinum and got a home a little bit ago.  amy just left to go to the store with cale so i’m going to take advantage of some one-on-one with cambo.

1 peter 4-5 reflections

“since jesus went through everything you’re going through and more.  Learn to think like him.” 4:1

• Father I pray that through this time of fasting that I would grab a hold of your strength and focus.  You were out in the desert for 40 days and nights tempted beyond what we can imagination, yet you stayed focused on your task.  Help me to have that focus and when temptation comes to quote scriptures.

“love each other as of your life depended on it.  Love makes up for practically anything.  Be quick to give a meal to the hungry and a bed to the homeless.”  4:7-8

·        My desire it truly love people and place value in people.  I remember not only six months ago telling my mom, “I just don’t like people”.  How ignorant and naïve.  That was so far from you.  It’s ironic that everyday I pass by a Will Roger’s statue which has a quote, “I never met a man I didn’t like”.  Sometimes that stinkin thing frustrates me.  It’s hard to believe.  Perhaps…. He just made that comment everyday to motivate himself to love people unconditionally.  I pray that when someone on the corner needs money that I wouldn’t pre-judge their intention and just give. “friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job.  This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.  So if you find life difficult, because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride.  Trust him.  He knows what he’s doing.” 4:12-13; 18

• I must admit so many days over the past two years and other times in my life I questioned you God.  I knew you existed, but just didn’t think you were there.  As I look back I realize now that even though perhaps I couldn’t feel you or since you were there, that’s where you wanted me to believe, not by sight but by faith.  I choose to trust in you with all my heart and lean not unto thine own understanding,  but in all my ways acknowledge you for you shall direct my paths.

 “that you care for God’s flock with all the diligence of a shepherd.  Not because you have to, but because you want to.  Not bossily telling others what to do, but tenderly showing them the way.” 5:2-3

• Wow a shepherds’ job was hard wasn’t it?  Sheep are dirty and messy.  But I am a sheep too.  Father place in me such a compassion for sheep that are out wandering around.  Help me not preach at them with words, but with my life and actions.

 “God has had it with the proud, but takes delight in just plain people.  So be content with who you are and don’t put on airs.  God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.”  5:5-6

• My prayer father is that I would truly just be myself.  Allow me to find such comfort in that.  I recently heard someone say, “I’d rather be disliked for who I am, then liked for who I am not”. Help me to trust in you during this season of my life and not try to break down a door.  I pray you would open a huge door in your own time.

day one – daniel fast

Today Amy and I began a daniel fast.  We’ve never done one before, besides an occasional meal for someone needing healing or something like that.  As I read in scriptures time in time again we have examples of those that fasted and prayed.  Why is it that I can nail the prayer thing down and leave out the fasting part?  There’s different types of fasts and different ways of doing it.  We’ve chosen a specific diet, as well as some personal things that are huge sacrifices.  The main purpose is to put ourselves in a total position of wanting to hear god’s voice for direction.

 I took my first jog in five weeks this afternoon.  I was able to nail out four miles.  The sad part was that I’ve lost so much endurance that my heart rate was so much higher now.  However, overall it felt great! I jogged up to rsu to do a prayer walk.  I just feel so a pulling there.  I prayed over the buildings, parking spaces, as well as for professors and students.  I was able to go into the library and fitness area.  This campus is booming right under this communities nose.  In the back side there’s something called a reserve.  It has a nature walk.  At first I didn’t want to do it.  But I felt like god was telling me to take the path less traveled.  I ended up taking a path didn’t know where it would lead.  It put me right smack in back of the huge newly built apartment complex for students.  I felt like god was saying, “go to them”.   I continued around until I saw the new student center being built.  it brought back memories of Christ church where I drove up one day, knowing I was going to lead that thing, and didn’t want it.  Now…. I look at this one and my feelings seem opposite.  The name of the road out front is Camden drive? I finished up walking out front and under some trees.  It had the perfect view of the main street in Claremore in which I’ve driven a hundred times.  I actually rode in a horse trailer the day I was married down that same street.  I did my first triathlon down that street.  Memories…… I prayed, “god if you want me to look at this place as a pasture with lost sheep then call me to be their shepherd.”  It’s amazing that spot looks over the entire Claremore community.

1 peter 3 reflections

“be good husbands to your wives.  honor them, delight in them.  Treat your wives as equals.  Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble” 3:7-9

• I don’t want to just be good I want to be great.  I guess that might seem cheesy but I really do.  How can I honor amy?  As I am in the middle of writing this she asked me to help with cale, there ya go!  I have a long way to go in being more sympathetic and loving but with your help God and her patience I can be great for her.

“if with heart and soul you’re doing good, do you think you can be stopped?  even if you suffer for it, you’re still better off.”  3:13

• I’ve been thinking on this often lately.  God if you ask me to do something and it’s from you, and i have the right heart and motive why would it not go well?  On the other side if something isn’t from you, you won’t bless it, and it will fail.  But I’d rather suffer and obey you than do nothing.  I’d rather take a risk and fail than take no risk at all.

“be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with utmost courtesy.  Keep a clear conscience before god so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick.  They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath.”  3:15-16

• Father I believe you are placing a boldness in me like never before.  Help me to be authentic enough with my friends to tell them who I really am and so much of me is you.  Help me to be like David who had spears thrown at him and did not retaliate.  Help me to have thick skin.  Help me when I serve people and they treat me like one to keep a clear conscience.

1 peter 2 reflections

“friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it.  don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul.  live an exemplary life so that your actions will refute their prejudices.  then they’ll be won over to god’s side”.  2:11-12

• last night on the news it was incredible seeing the lines up people at 4am waiting for “stuff”.  i’m cool with that, but not at the expense of going overboard.  i just don’t want to get so comfortable here on earth and store up riches that i lose focus.  i have to remind myself of those things often.  for me it’s gear for my triathlon stuff.  i used to be crazy about clothing.  all this stuff will eventually go away ya know?  i just pray that i would live simply and not get too extravagant.

“treat everyone you meet with dignity.  love your spiritual family.  revere god.  respect the government“. 2:17

• my desire is to put value in people and make them feel they are the number one person of importance to me.  i want to maximize the good and minimize the bad in people.  i heard someone recently speak of bill clinton.  he tends to be viewed in a negative light, perhaps for some past mistakes and some of his views.  i don’t agree with some of those.  but….. someone said that if you were to meet him in person he immediately make eye contact and never leaves you.  he will make you feel like no one in the world matters.  i want to be more like that.  father i need more love for fellow christians.  sometimes i get frustrated by their actions and need to refocus my own.  help me to fear you and live by the rules and laws around me – especially driving the speed limit, man that’s hard!

“be good servants — not just to good masters, but also bad ones.  what counts is that you put up with it for god’s sake when you’re treated badly for no good reason.  he suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step”. 2:18-19; 22

• help me to never ever forget that i’m called to be a servant.  the hardest part isn’t so much the serving at times, but how i react when someone treats me like one.  help me to not get hurt or defensive or angry.  help me to be reminded of all that you went through.  you experienced far more than i could ever imagine.  when i reach out to someone in practical ways help me not to expect anything in return.

“his wounds became your healing.  you were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going.  now your named and kept for good by the shepherd of your souls”. 2:25

• i can munch on this all morning.  without you father god i’m nothing.  just a few months ago i was a sheep wandering around in the desert – for two years!  you never left me.  your word says that the desert is where we meet you.  i didn’t know who i was or where i was going.  i still don’t in alot of ways.  for so long i was finding my identity in being a youth “pastor”.  i didn’t know who ricky was.  so when i stepped away from that, i had no identity.  before i ever step into another “position” i believe you want me to find my identity in you.  so that ricky is who i am.  i am not the “pastor” named ricky.  i am ricky who happens to be………whatever.   the worst thing in the world is not be yourself.

1 peter 1-2 reflections

“don’t lazily slip back into the old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing.  as obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by god’s life, a a life energetic and blazing with holiness.” 1:15-16

• how easy is it at times to throw in the towel in self-discipline?  i do it so often.  most often if my physical fitness and eating habits are off it is a continuation into all other areas.  i desire that god would pull me back into spiritual shape everyday, truly going against the flow, no matter how uncomfortable.  it’s funny being a personal trainer that you would think the more exercise you do the more tired you get, it’s ironic, totally opposite you feel so much better and wake up with far more energy as you are getting in better shape.

“you call out to god for help and he helps — he’s a good father that way.  but don’t forget, he’s also a responsible father, and won’t let you get by with sloppy living”.  1:17

• i love it that our incredible god of all the universe can be viewed as our daddy.  camden will climb up on my bed at times and get stuck between the mattress and end board.  he’ll say, “daddy help you, stuck…..” he’s cute he doesn’t say “help me, but, help you.” i long to be there for him, but at the same time, feel more and more as he’s getting older to nip things in the bud and confront little things before they turn into bigger things.  it’s hard, but that’s how he’ll grow.  i had a great earthly father that set a great example.  i only pray that i will not only receive my heavenly father’s love, but will receive discipline as well when i screw up.

“your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of god.”  1:18

• i’m on for the ride of my life.  i don’t want to live here on earth waiting for heaven, but want to live here and try to bring a little of heaven to earth.  lately i feel so much more that my body, mouth, and all that i am is not my own.  it’s just a body that god is using.  i’m used property, but yet bought with a huge price.  just like verse nine below, we are god’s instruments.  i’m just on for the ride and letting god speak through me as i’m thinking of him through the day – what a great way to live life!

“now like infants at the breast, drink deep of god’s pure kindess.  then you’ll grow up mature and whole in god”.  2:3

• ok, i’ve seen this in action, as many of us have and won’t be detailed.  but….. man cale sometimes goes at the milk like he’s been deprived for weeks!  for me it’s like chugging a 32oz gatarade after a long run.  it’s just pure tastefulness.  i’ve heard many times that baby’s will grow to be so much more healthier and be far better nurtured the longer they can breastfeed.  perhaps god wants to make a point.

“but you are the ones chosen by god, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, god’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted”.  2:9-10

• yesterday during thanksgiving lunch i attempted to live this verse out.  i brought my neighbor jim over some lunch.  he lives along, divorced, and wasn’t spending the holiday with any family.  i’ve been attempting to serve him in practical ways.  i let him know i would love to share how incredible god is in my life and what he means to me.  jim let it be known to me that he doubts god.  i told him that’s ok, at times i still do.  i don’t always understand what god is doing.  the bible says somewhere that there are secrets in the heart of god that know one knows.  nevertheless, i want to trust him not by sight but by faith.  i pray god that one day jim will be like thomas and come to a realization that you are truly real in his life.