my two friends

yesterday i had to head into okc for our annual afr christmas party – it’s like a baptist senior citizen banquet – good stuff.  i’ve never desired to have games on my cell phone more than i did during that hour.  it’s about a 2 hour drive one way.  it makes for some great prayer and thinking times.  on the way back i was able to talk to so many people – it was great.

two things came up which about killed me.  it was one of those days, “god what’s up with that?” i found at my roommate and best friend from college has full blown muscular distrophy.  he’s being refined to a wheel chair.  he’s gained so much weight and here i am a personal trainer and mister triathlon guy – i just felt so small.  i plan on dedicated my ironman next summer to him.  eric young is one of my new heroes!  he’s dealing with all of that but god is still using him to reach scores of teenagers in lousiana where he’s a youth pastor – www.redstudentministries.com after talking to him i said eric you must be doing something incredible for satan to be trying to fight against you with all of this.  i believe in the same way he knew what was coming in my own life and tried to throw a tumor in my direction. 

i am planning on heading down to san antonio in the next few days and always try to drop by and see some old junior high friends in schertz texas.  i’m so pumped that i’ll get to see a few.  i called one of my best buddies mom to get his number and she said, “oh he would be so excited to see you he always thought so much of you”.  i was floored and immediately teared up, when she told me he passed away this past May.  how does a 29 year old pass away?  that just doesn’t sound right.  she said he choked on a wad of gum and tried to cough it up but it went down into his lungs and he died within 24 hours of pneumonia!  it broke my heart because i was so looking forward to seeing him again.  we must of played homerun derby as kids a billion times together!  i only hope i did my part in influencing him for christ.  i will miss you Chris Nafus.

these two things drive me even harder to our ultimate purpose – taking advantage of every day and live it like it’s our last.  i pray i am never ashamed of the gospel and use every conversation to its fullest.

lil gramps

this is my 6 month old Cale.  he looks just like my dad (grampy) so thus i’ve nicknamed my boy “lil gramps”

it’s a deal

tonight i was training my friend that is agnostic.  i asked him, “would you go to church if i invited you?” he said, “probably not”.  i replied, “what if it was my church?”.  he said, “well, maybe but i wouldn’t be apart of it.”  i commented back, “i’ll tell you what i’ll go to your club (i’ve never been to one in my life) if you’ll come to church with me.”  he said, “ok it’s a deal”.

a simple question, “why is it as church attenders we always try to get people to come to our terf and safe enviroment that is so cozy but yet we won’t enter their environments?

my answer – we’re cowards and flat out yella

how do i know – i used to be one

my dream

i dream of being apart of a community of fully devoted followers of christ that allows me to…..

• invite a friend and i won’t feel embarrased or disappointed by the quality of our gathering
• be transparent about my struggles and trust them to do the same
• be myself and not have to live up some pre-conceived concept of what a “christian” looks like
• serve with and not have to be the superpastor that does it all
• help impact a community instead of building a church empire
• point my boys to as an example so they won’t be totally reliant on me to disciple them
• gather with that is organic in nature and led by the movement of the Holy Spirit
• devote my life too
• hang with that’s not predictable and boring
• be apart of something that is growing with vision to be apart of multisites all over rogers county
• be apart of something that will revolutionize people’s view of what church looks like
• network with other churches to make a greater impact
• start a 2nd reformation with this generation
• not have to conform to what everyone else looks like or how they act
• welcome someone without them worrying about status, color, $, clothes, or race
• influence people that don’t like church to fall in love with jesus and the church all over again
• care more about people on the outside of the four walls than those already in
• be more concerned with relevance rather than how it has always been
• be so focused on serving my community that there’s no more energy left to be critical of the inside
• be approachable and not untouchable as a pastor
• provide direction and mentorship to a college student
• care more about social injustice than myself
• be in the marketplace more than the synagogue
• care more about my neighbors care in their driveway than the lent on someone’s suit
• care more about who’s missing than the miss q during a song
• mentor our kids and not let leave it up to our culture
• build on my daily spiritual disciplines and not rely soley on one message
• be the church and stop doing church
• be known more for acts of kindness than the size of our steeple
• care more for my friends that are undecided than how many aren’t
• want to come and not have to
• do and not get
• not fake it or have to meet requirements
• not have to be apart of a business but a family
• laugh and just enjoy life
• love people and not buildings
• be more valued on being than doing

claremore recons

our church did a repeat of last night’s christmas musical so i decided to hit the town and do some a church reconnaissance.  i love that word.  it’s a military word that means to scout or the act or exploring to gain information. 

i poked my head into five different churches in claremore and had my little “grocery list” of items i was commenting on.  one church as i walked in smelled like a mixture of a funeral home and a hospital – i had to leave just because of that!  overall it was what i expected – traditional style targeted at 40-55 age group.  i visited a baptist church, methodist church, non-denominational church, first christian church, and one i am unsure of the affliation.

i met some family at one of the world’s greatest places to eat – the hammett house.  my fast ended yesterday so i engulged a chicken fried steak, okra, and fries – ahhh it was nice!

i got to spend most of the rest of the day continuing to strategize and brainstorm for this coming year.  god dropped a huge piece of the puzzle on us tonight and i am so excited i don’t think i’m going to be able to sleep tonight. 

day 21: daniel fast reflections

man it seems like the days went by slow but the weeks went by fast.  the main two reasons i felt led to do this fast, besides letting God truly know how serious i was to hear from him, was to get clear direction for my life.  i also wanted to be able to go down to Texas for my Christmas vacation and not have any mixed feelings in joining my brother’s church plant.  it has always been my dream to be reunited with all of my family, perhaps one day, but for now will have to remain.

before i did this fast i knew the what and why in what God has called me to do with my life, but lacked the where, how, and when.  I believe the answers are drawing closer.  God has called me to launch a church for a younger generation that is tired of rituals, agendas, traditionalism, and just wants to be the church not be a church.  I will give my life to it and die doing it – i look back on my life and everything has pointed to this. 

Things I’ve learned from my Daniel Fast:

• i really don’t miss watching TV that much and will probably continue without it except on occassions
• with all the triathlon training and weight loss the cutting back to fruits and veggies was not as bad as i thought
• i never knew how often i checked my email and wasted time on the internet
• it just cleared my mind of all the technology “clutter” and allowed me to be able to hear the voice of God
• it gave me more time to focus my energies on other things i seemingly don’t have time to do
• i just felt so much closer to God and just a simple purity
• i’ve decided on big decisions or just times of spiritual low times i’m going to commit to fasting
• i’m hoping next time to commit to just a liquid diet and my ultimate goal is to one day do a 40 day fast

integrity at its best

the past two days i’ve been continuing to work with some of my family making a few extra bucks for christmas.  yesterday my FNL got five stories up in a tree and sawed a limb that dropped on a guy’s car.  this guy moved his other two vehicles but for whatever reason chose to not move this one.

the “cherry faced” round fellow came out and was not a very happy camper to say the least!  they exchanged a few words (a few were absolutely hilarious) and we parted ways.  he told us not to worry about and just wanted us to finish up and leave.

well today, my FNL couldn’t let it go and wanted to make things right.  he called around town and got a guy to replace right there in the guys driveway so he wouldn’t have to even mess with it.

lesson learned: we could have easily moved on and been justified in doing so.  time would have passed and perhaps everyone would have forgotten about it.  everything in my FNL just could not let that be.  he chose not to be remembered for what he didn’t do but for what he could do – to make things right. 

perhaps the greatest thing he doesn’t realize – his SNL and his son saw the whole thing and saw his response, a classic example of integrity for four eyes that were shaped.

god orchestrated

this morning woke up and hit the day once again trying to make some extra cash for the holidays.  we knocked out quite a few tree branches, not to mention a windshield – not a cool situation.  i feel like we are serving our community as well cleaning up tons of messes.

tonight we had a late dinner with our Pastor.  do you ever feel like you are literally walking behind Jesus?  I mean that each step you take he’s already been there and paved the way?  there’s that proverb that says, “man makes his plans, but God order’s his steps.”  never in my life has this been so evident that these past few months.  i prayed for favor and blessing over tonight and it could not have been any better.  it was almost like God had already prepared Pastor Dave’s heart for what we were going to share with him. 

God you are incredible and I’m having a blast following you as you make this happen.  I read something in Velvit Elvis where the disciples would have the “dust” of their Rabbi on them from following so closely behind.  Tonight I feel like I’m saturated with my Jesus’ dust!  What a night.

sweet & sour icestorms

sunday night the northeast region of oklahoma (which is my area to do inspections) got hammered by a brutal icestorm.  it rained most of the night and the past two days.  it was so cold it turned into ice.  when i drove around town today it was like a tornado hit or a giant came through. 

 1/3 of the state had electricity that went out – favor was upon my household.  i will never again take for granted a wood stove!  my FNL and BNL called me this afternoon and we loaded up a chainsaw, hitched on the trailer, and busted around town cleaning up yards.  it was sweet because with just a little of hard labor we were making some quick cash.  it was sour for all those people that had to dish it out right before christmas.  we’re heading out for the next few days and are going to make some major mulah!

it is truly a blessing because it is far more than i could make in the amount of time with personal training sessions and i can’t do much with inspections because of iced over roofs.  god truly timed this one for me.  not to mention time to work on my future endeavor – thanks to my brother John for hooking me up with a great resource for church admin.

matthew 16-18 reflections

matthew 16

“some pharisees and sadducees were on him again, pressing him to prove himself to them” :1

• How many times did you have to prove yourself to people?  The proof was in the pudding.  All the miracles and healings and it was never good enough.  I’m glad to know we don’t have to prove ourselves to people but only you.  Let our actions be the proof.

“haven’t you realized that bread isnt the problem?” :11

• The Pharisees teaching was the issue.  Help me lord when you tell me something or direct me somewhere I’ll get it.  I pray it won’t take hundred times to get through to me, but that my antenna would be up. 

“who do you say i am; and now i’m going to tell you who you are, really are.  this is the rock on which i will put together my church, a church so expansive with energy that not even the gates of hell will be able to keep it out.” :15; 17-18

• The essence of our self-identity.  I feel like I am just now figuring out who I really am and I’m almost thirty.  Perhaps the reason is because I focused on what people thought about me more than finding out who I was through you. 

• Father I do pray that the church is the answer.  For awhile I had my doubts.  That wasn’t because of you but because of man.  The government, politics, education, and anything else our world relies on doesn’t compare to the power of the local church.  Give us energy and passion to reach our communities that not even hell it self can come in our way!

 ”but jesus didn’t swerve.  anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.  you’re not in the driver’s seat I am.  Don’t run from suffering; embrace it.  Self sacrifice is the way, the way to finding yourself.” :23-25

• You were so confident – I guess it helped because you were God.  If were made in your image did you ever lack self-esteem when making this world?  Like perhaps there was a better way?  I don’t understand everything and that’s OK.  I trust you….. I trust you…  I tried to drive my own vehicle of life for a long time.  I tried to gain success and position and climb the ministry ladder and when I got there I thought, “if this is it I don’t want it!” 

• Help me to embrace suffering.  Are we going to experience anything in our generation like the early church or in other countries?  Some times I believe that I will.  How can we get off so easy?  I just think my faith will be tested far greater than what I’ve experienced so far.

 matthew 17

“what a generation! no focus to your lives! how many times do i have to go over these things?  how much longer do i have to put up with this?  you’re not taking God seriously.” :17; 20

• Father surely the disciples saw and learned how you approached people and dealt with problems, but yet they lacked the faith and belief in themselves.  Help to have a God-confidence, not a cocky-confidence.  Help me to believe you’ve empowered me by your Holy Spirit to take on the challenges and deal with them accordingly.

matthew 18

“start love like children.  whoever becomes simple and elemental again.” :4

• I’m so tired Father of structures, guidelines, this is how you are supposed to do it.  I’m tired of denominational walls and barriers.  I just want to become innocent again.  I want to soak up everything you have for me and not allow someone to tell me what can or can’t be done.  Help me to believe that anything can happen, no matter how many people have tried it and failed.  If you direct me let me tackle it like David and Goliath or Benoniah and the lion. 

“if a fellow believer hurts go and work it out” :15

• Thank you Jesus for putting it in my heart and tugging me a month or so ago to approach several people that live in my community that there was some unfinished forgiveness on my part.  I feel so free and that the chains came off.  Is there anyone else I need to do this with – reveal it to me. 

“when two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action.  and when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” :19-20

• Ultimate small group.  I pray that I would live this out with so much confidence and not take it for granted.  Help me to not think there has to be this large group with tons of people and this superstar pastor to say a prayer for something to happen.  If Amy and I simply agree it is just as powerful and meaningful.