secret blend relationships

 

What a day!  This morning I woke up and ran a 10miler with my new running partner.  Matt is the assistant city manager in Claremore.  He’s a young guy that truly has a vision to see this community progress and form a positive identity in this state.  What’s even better is he has a heart for God.  Amy was able to go out with his wife Rachel for a bike ride and we were able to have lunch afterwards.

Tonight we went out with some old friends that I hadn’t seen in over two years.  As I was listening to their story and how they got married – it just boggled my mind how big God is.  Moises grew up in Brazil and Lana in Oklahoma.  The way they ended up together is a miracle within itself.

I love developing new friends and getting together with old ones.  There’s nothing like sharing a meal with others and talking about life.  It’s crazy to think just over a year ago Amy and I would stay at home all the time and never really go out much with others.  Now we try to keep our schedule available to get together with others frequently. 

Did that just start by falling into our laps?  Did people all of a sudden just start randomly calling us?  Are we so special that people would come over and long to be with us?  No way!  We learned a simple lesson that many people don’t want to work at.  To have a friend you must first be one.  If we sit around and just wait for someone to email, call, or come over – it will never happen.  It takes work.  It takes initiation.  It takes patience.

Most of us try and call and make an attempt and if it fails we give up.  We don’t want a one-way relationship.  I don’t know how many times I have felt like that – but man so many relationships would have been lost forever. 

Simply put.. People want to be pursued.  They want you to talk about them.  They want you to be interested in what they are into.  If you desire to do that – you’ll have yourself a friend.  I’m no expert by any means.  I’m still learning this process.  One of the best books I’ve read about this is – The Secret Blend by Stan Toler.

What do you think?  How do you develop a friendship?  Is there someone you need to pursue that possibly could turn into a close friend?

the granny technique

Today was a complete day of rest.  Well besides getting my rear end kicked with my swimming partners at the crack of dawn.  It was a day that was well needed for me.  It allowed me to have complete focus on my family. 

We went out to eat at Boomerang Cafe here in town, got Amy sized on a road bike for her triathlon, and took the boys bowling.  It was Camden’s first experience and he hailed down the granny technique!  When picking out a ball – I had a hard time not grabbing Cale’s head – it was just perfect bowling ball size. 

We came home and I was able to finish off a book called, Organic Church – lot of good stuff.  Amy went off on a girls night out and I was able to get together with an old friend that I met my first year at SAGU.  He lives here in town and has two boys as well.  I still remember Dustin making guac for his demonstration speech.  Good times.

The day ended with both boys falling asleep beside me in Daddy’s bed – while Mommy was out cruisin the town with a bunch of other mommies.

duct taped warts & time mgmt

This morning I headed over to my primary physician for a serious appointment.  Wart removal baby.  I’ve had them periodically over the years and can’t stand them.  I used to have one on my thumb and everytime I reached in my pocket it would scrape it – ouch!  Anyway my doctor attempted to freeze it off.  Then he told me to wrap it up like a band-aid with duct tape.  That blew me away. 

Duct tape, the all-purpose household fix-it with hundreds of uses, can also remove warts.  Researchers say over-the-hardware-counter duct tape is a more effective, less painful alternative to liquid nitrogen, which is used to freeze warts.  The study was reported in the October issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

In the study, patients wore duct tape over their warts for six days. Then they removed the tape, soaked the area in water and used an emery board or pumice stone to scrape the spot. The tape was reapplied the next morning. The treatment continued for a maximum of two months or until the wart went away.  Crazy isn’t it?

On a more important note, I was able to spend some time evaluating my weekly schedule and rework my time management.  It’s been a little out of whack lately.  I sat down and planned some date nights with Amy and some family outings. 

What does your weekly schedule look like?  Are your priorities lined up?  Are you taking time for those closest to you?

pedal

Yesterday morning I found myself whining like a little girl about just stuff.  I was talking to God about all the things that I wasn’t getting done and how I’d wish he would clone me 3x so I could be in different places at once.  God has called me to start a new different kind of church.  I’m full throttle trying to lay the ground work.  God smacked me around for awhile and questioned me, “Ricky who’s church is it anyway?  Is it yours?  Or is it mine?  Because if it’s yours it will fail.  But…. if it’s mine – just trust me with all your heart.  Stop thinking this depends on you and start knowing that it depends on me”.  It made me think of a poem a friend recently sent me:

When I first met Christ
It seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride,
But it was a tandem bike,
And I noticed that Christ
Was in the back helping me pedal.

I don’t know just when it was that
He suggested we change places,
But life has not been the same since.

When I had control, I knew the way,
It was rather boring, but predictable…
It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead,
He knew delightful long cuts,
Up mountains, and through rocky places,
At breakneck speeds,
It was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness,
He said, “Pedal”
I worried and was anxious and asked,
“Where are you taking me?”
He laughed and didn’t answer,
And I started to learn to trust.

I forgot my boring life
And entered into the adventure.
And when I’d say, “I’m scared,”
He’d lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed.
Gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy.
He said, “Give the gifts away;
They’re extra baggage, too much weight.”

So I did, I gave them to the people we met,
And I found that in giving I received,
And still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, In control of my life.
I thought He’d wreck it;
But He knows bike secrets,
Knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners,
Knows how to jump to clear high rocks,
Knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.

And I am learning to shut up
and pedal in the strangest places,
And I’m beginning to enjoy the view
And the cool breeze on my face
With my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

And when I’m sure I just can’t do anymore,
He just smiles and says…
“Pedal.”  

 

serving others with no tip

My junior year in college i spent a semester as a waiter for Red Lobster.  I still remember what it was like to serve like crazy to a certain table, only to get stiffed in the end.  It didn’t happen often but it was frustrating at times.

How difficult is it to serve knowing at times you will receive no tip?  I’m learning those lessons daily.  There’s a certain elderly man named Mr. Walker that my hearts yearns for at Wood Manor, but he won’t let me in.  There’s a young man that I keep calling and won’t return my calls.  There’s a neighbor that I keep reaching out to with only of little avail.  There’s another guy that won’t respond to an encouraging email. 

Sometimes it is hard to serve others with no tip.  I learn this everday that passes.  So many times I just want a response.  So many times I just want some recognition.  So many times I just want someone to say, “thankyou” and give something back. 

I might even step out a little further.  At times I wonder if God sees the serving.  I know he does, but sometimes I want a little proof.  There’s certain days where I just want to know that he’s working behind the scenes.  Do you ever feel like that?  Today was that day for me.  I just wanted to see a dollar or simply a quarter left on the table.  I didn’t want this day to end feeling like I got stiffed.  Then I remembered – God has called me to serve without the expectation of a tip.

I was led back to my prayer journal from yesterday in which I wrote the following:

03.23.08 7:55am entry

Scripture John 6:27-59 “why don’t you give us a clue, when we see what’s up, we’ll commit ourselves.  Show us what you can do” :30-31

Observation

• They didn’t have any faith.  They just wanted him to be the jack-in-the-box or musician and do little miracle tricks.  They wanted him to prove himself first.

Application/Prayer

• Help me to just trust in you period.  Knowing that you are with me.  My hardest thing is I expect you to send me little clues that you are out in front – I shouldn’t grow to expect those things.  Help me to trust you even when there are none!

 

 

an easter lunch

After church this morning we were able to meet up with with one of my favorite families.  The Blakinships are coming alongside us to serve the Claremore community.  Back in December Scott let me know he wanted to join our team.  I can’t express what that has meant to my family.  I can’t wait to see where this team goes!

My neighbor Jim came with us to eat some Charlie’s Chicken as well.  I love this man and my boys treat him like a grandpa.  Years from now I will never forget chatting with Jim over the fence, in his living room, or across the dinner table in our house. 

When we got home Amy carried on a Van Pay tradition and hid Easter baskets in the backyard for the boys.  It didn’t take all of 1.4 seconds for Camden to locate his in the tree.  He also located Cale’s…….

nemo in the toilet

For nearly the past month I have probably unplugged “the vanpay boys toilet” about a hundred times.  It would be fine for a little while and then just mess up – literally.  I know this is nasty.  But you don’t understand the magnitude of what I’ve gone through with this thing.  Twice I’ve been on our roof with a large metal snake thing and tried to go down through our roof opening.  One time the snake whipped me in the side of the head.  I thought I had been in a fight and just got knocked out and almost fell of the roof.   I even tried going down our shower drain.  Nothing.

I called a friend this past week that used to be a plumber.  He told me to just buy a new toilet.  That was his way of saying “forget my help dude”.  I just didn’t want to spend $100 or more on a new pooper.  My FNL came over this morning for a last attempt.  We undid everything (the glue ring is just flat out well… never mind) and took it outside.  We tried unclogging it with a water hose!  Finally…… the culprit was revealed.  NEMO!!  Yes Nemo was blocking everything.  He was trying to swim down and got stuck. 

Camden’s Nemo stinkin toothbrush caused all my heartache.  My little 3 year old flushed his brush down the pooper.  And to think I’ve practically dislocated my back with a plunger this past month for NEMO!  I don’t ever want to watch that movie again. 

My kid held it up for a camera shot like it was his trophy.  Way to go Cambo!  Your grandpa sure loved it!  Little do you know that you will be brushing with that thing for the next week!

a hilarious zoo moment

This morning we loaded up and went to the tulsa zoo for the first time this year.  What we didn’t realize was that everyone else that lives in Tulsa and has kids decided the same thing.  Here’s a picture of the line in front of us and the line behind us.  Good stuff.  Who would have figured?  70 degrees, spring break, and zoo memberships on sale.  We decided to get one this year.  Camden and Cale took a picture on the same turtle that Amy and I took when we first got married.  Camden decided to let everyone know there’s peace during the Easter season. 

I think the best part of the morning was watching this little girl get attacked by a goose!  Well, no I’m not for small kids getting bit by animals.  That wasn’t the funny part.  It was watching her dad attempt to kick the living day lights out of this goose.  Approximately 20% of the zoo and the surrounding area had their eyes glued.  He thought he one the battle when the goose chased after him wanting more!  Ahhh the joys of of being entertained at someone else’s expense.

casey: a definition of persistence

This afternoon I spent a bulk of time catching up on some admin at my favorite coffeehouse in Claremore – Perfect Grounds.  I really like the owner named Kris.  He’s got an incredible heart for the RSU students of Claremore.  Why else wouldn’t we hit it off?  I must admit I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but he can fix a mean caramel macchiato!  Amy on the other hand could keep Starbucks in business like there’s no tomorrow. 

My new friend, Casey Loper, walked in while I was indulging.  He works for Edward Jones.  This dude knows his stuff when it comes to investments.  I’m hoping we can trade his expertise for mine.  He wants me to do the OKC Memorial 1/2 Marathon in late April so I’m going to help train him. 

Casey started two years ago at age 23 with nothing.  He just started knocking on doors.  He strategized it out: he would spend day after day, 15 minutes at a house, for a total of 25 houses a day.  He knocked on over 650 houses in Claremore!  He was told he couldn’t start his business until he had 50 clients.  Do you know how many contacts he has in his network today?  Over 1600!  He’s no stranger to the book, Never Eat Alone, one of my favorites.  I got to give up for Casey’s tenacity and persistence.  I think Calvin Coolidge would say Casey defines a quote he made many years ago:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.  talent will not….genius will not….. education will not…. persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” 

A little persistence helped me end the day with a 40 mile bike ride in the hilly terrain and windy conditions out toward Pryor, OK.

my top 5 strengths

Three years ago, while on staff at a church, I read the book: Now, Discover Your Strengths (Marcus Buckingham). 

My top five strengths were:

• focus: everyday I ask myself, “where am I headed?” constantly setting goals
• learner: love to learn and enjoy the process itself
• harmony: look for areas of agreement and don’t enjoy conflict
• significance: want to be heard and recognized
• discipline: set up routines, like things predictable, focus on timelines

I wander now if any of those have changed.  Each strength comes with it’s downfall as well.  Have you ever read this book?  I highly recommend it.  You learn alot about yourself and how you are wired.  It also helps others understand you better.  It lets your spouse no how anal retentive you can be!