no more fast food

lately my time in prayer and worship has been phenomonal.  my time in his word has been more like a fast-food window.  it has been rushed and i’ve not chewed or wrestled with it.  i’ve not been journaling like i was.  i’ve been saying yes to a whole lot of things lately and unknowlingly it has caused me to say no to some of the most important.  it reminds me how weak my flesh is and how willing the spirit is.  i decided to get up much earlier than i have been today.  when the alarm went off i wanted to snooze five more times.  it feels good to go against the flesh.  amy and i went to bed last night praying over each other – praying for more passion and drive for things of christ.  it’s amazing – the more intimacy with christ we experience – the more intimacy in our marriage we experience.  here’s my reflection for this morning:

 

6.30.08 6:25am

S – Acts 17:10-34

“met with him daily, examining the scriptures to see if they supported what he said.  A lot of them became believers, including many who were prominent in the community, women and men of influence.” :11-12

“everyday he went out on the streets and talked with anyone who happened along.  Some of them dismissed him.  Others said tell us more.” :17-18

“he doesn’t play hide n seek with us.  He’s calling us for a radical life-change.  The listeners split; some laughed at him, others were convinced and stuck with him” :32-33

 

0

·          they didn’t just take the word paul said as truth they studied the scripture and wrestled with it themselves to seek out the truth

·          influential people believed as paul built relationships with them – he found favor

·          he went out everyday and spoke with people – some accepted and some didn’t

·          god is here for us, he’s not playing games, he’s called us to transformation

 

A

·          I want to read and dissect the scripture and apply it to my life.  I know we must not exegete it according to our own opinions that can cause danger, but we must be challenged to read it for ourselves and allow the holy spirit to convict and challenge us – otherwise we will always be to intimidated and will never read it for ourselves

·          I pray that I would have continued favor with influential people in our community that hold major relational networks

·          It’s comforting to know that even paul as radical as he was – not everyone was convinced – there were always those that walked away while others accepted.  I know I am challenging many to step up and be apart of the team – some will walk away I know that.  God help me to know that as bad as it hurts for all the investing I’ve done

·          Change my life.  Give me hunger and passion for you name and for people around me.  I want transformation in this community and I know that first I must be transformed!

 

P

God pour into me today.  May I experience a true passion for you and for worship.  Hear my heart as I bring my prayers before you.  Allow me to find favor in your eyes so I’ll find favor in others.  Give me wisdom in all decisions.  Help me to say no to good things so I’ll be saying yes to better things.  Give me a passion for your name today!  I love you so much.  Everything is in your hands – do what only you can do – I trust you…. I trust you completely.  amen

closest to the pin

yesterday was a highlight that left me with alot of inward emotion and a little outward.  we loaded up the family and headed to okc at the crack of dawn!  i had to drop off my work computer at the afr home office and we met amy’s best friend from college to take family pics.  the main reason for heading out was an invite that i had to be in a golf tourney with other chi alpha supporters in the state.

keep in mind i’ve only golfed once or twice in the last two years.  no driving range no putting – just a few whacks in my front lawn at a blockparty with ping pong balls.  it was a little rainy so my clubs got wet.  as i took a swing with my driver, to my horror, it flew out of my hands and followed by ball down the range.  if you know anything about this – everyone else has to stop hitting until you get your club.  not cool.  this didn’t help my confidence at all.  at all.   one guy made wise crack, “if he gets that mad out on the range i wander what will happen on the course”.  i wanted to express my anger by driving a ball at his head, but figured that wouldn’t be very christ-like.  as i turned around – i saw the closest friend i have ever had, as far as church staff relationships go.  ricky tate was the young adult pastor at christ church when i was there doing student ministry.  we hit it off and unfortunately do to me being a good friend we lost touch.  it had been nearly four years!

as we chatted about old memories i was able to look him in the eye and ask for forgiveness and let him know that i was terribly sorry for some things that had occurred to lose touch.  i love this guy and it broke my heart to see his two boys knowing i missed out on the opportunity to share in that celebration of their births.  it was a lesson learned for me and a friend that i don’t want to ever lose touch with again. 

after sharing our vision with a few pastors that were there and hopefully nailing down some opportunities to itinerate i found out that i received a “closest to the pin” award.  i knocked a par 3 within 25 inches of the hole.  why is it i could never do this when i was playing 2-3 times a week in texas?  it was awesome knowing some of these guys play all the time and i had a lucky shot! 

so – is there any friends you need to make things right with in your past?  are there any that you truly miss and wish you could get reacquainted?  there’s just something about getting back in touch with a really good friend.  i didn’t realize how much i had missed him until i saw him from a distance hitting balls on the range.

a cookie monster underwear model

what can i say?  my three n a half year old wants to be a cookie monster winter ski underwear model in the future!  he was in his room a few nights ago and out he came dressed in this stuff.  he got it all out himself and we had nothing to do with it.  it definetly gave us some quick laughs. 

parents night out

today i chose to do something i’ve been wanting to do for awhile.  i was able to meet with an awesome guy with a/g financial and get material for amy and i to work through our will.  most couples our age probably don’t do this – but i just don’t want time to get away without making it a priority before it gets off our radar.  the man i met with was our superintendent’s cousin and his son helps lead worship at newspring church in south carolina.  it was really cool to hear about some stories – i have alot of respect and admiration for perry noble from afar!

after having lunch with a potential well team member, i was able to spend time with a young man i’m truly beginning to love in davey.  he’s got a huge heart and has a passion to be used in worship and at rsu as he enters his first year.  i love having transparent conversations that cause me to be challenged and grow in my walk with christ!  davey was introduced to james bond and jerry springer this afternoon as we spent time loving the forgotten elderly of wood manor.  i’m looking forward to planning a hotdog grillout with some of our team in the future.

after a quick 3 mile jog i showered and helped amy get ready for our first pno.  one of the greatest needs of young couples in our community, as well as anywhere, is date nights.  many of our friends don’t have relatives or friends they feel like they can trust to leave their kids with – nor the money to pay a babysitter.  we decided to meet that need by scheduling a “parents night out” once a month during the summer. 

 we turned our house into a full fledge daycare center tonight.  after the pizza was gone, the cookies were put away, bags of chips were out of sight, corn hole was put up, kiddie pool emptied, puzzles put back together, and toys put away – the look of appreciation from our friends after they spent an evening loving their spouse made it all worth the short amount of hell we experienced – no just kidding – the kids were great!

how bout you?  do you need a date with your spouse?  is there some friends that you could send off by watching their kids for an evening?

jewel in a haystack & accountability

man today was a long day on the road.  it was grueling and tiresome.  i was able to start out with phenominal time in prayer and worship in my truck.  i never want to take this time for granted -  i know i won’t always have this time of solitude like i have now on mondays and wednesdays.

i had an interesting talk with an older lady as i literally had to climb in her vehicle and cross a 2 foot creek just to get to look at a house for her.  she spent nearly twenty years on the radio interviewing politicans and people from all walks of life.  she truly opened my eyes to changes that are coming and where the church fits into it.  she had a wealth of knowledge and i plan on calling her again.  she was truly a jewel in a haystack today!

i also got to talk to my dad and my fnl this afternoon.  i shared with them on how i feel the need to surround myself with older men in whom i admire, respect, and look up to.  i gave them permission (like they needed it) to keep me accountable, challenge me, and confront me with love.  i told them that if they observed anything, felt anything in their spirit, or heard anything in prayer to ask me about it.  i told them that if they felt something and didn’t confront me – then they don’t love me nearly as much as they say.  that might sound a little crazy, but i want it and need it and feel god directing me to do it.  i’m not sure i know of two other men that have a greater level of integrity then these two men.  i have a few others in my life including my brother, close friends, and amy that i have submitted myself under for accountability sake.  i don’t want to be a statistic of pastors that fall morally or do something stupid.  i don’t want to have a lick of pride in my heart that says i’m above anything. 

i can honestly say i feel closer to god than ever before.  for the first time in my life i don’t feel like i’m hiding anything from anyone or god.  there’s no secret rooms or closets in my life that i’m keeping.  god has called me to a huge task and has given me a vision that is so far bigger then me and will outlive me when i’m gone.  i’m not about to live a life of secrets and have sins that are going to cause me to fall.  with that in mind – i’d better as heck have those closest to me – challenging and confronting me with tough issues so i stay on the narrow path.  here’s the deal: i’d better be completely honest when they ask me things and i’d better not have a hint of defensiveness or they’ll probably never say anything.

i think one of my new core values is to live an open-book life as a christ-follower.  i don’t want to hide anything from anyone, especially from my heavenly father. 

what about you?  do you have people in your life asking you the tough questions?  have you given people permission and the right to invade your life?  if not perhaps there’s a little bit of pride or even a little bit of some sin in your heart.

rotary, napoleon dynamite, & general tso

today flew by!  i spent a short time getting some computer work done at my office – java dave’s.  i had a really cool opportunity to meet the athletic director/basketball coach up at rsu.  i love this guy and he has revolutionized the athletic program.  i was amazed to find out he had an a/g background.  he was very sincere and could tell he had a huge heart for rogers state!  why else wouldn’t i like him?

my friend herb from rogers county youth shelter called me up to go to a rotary club luncheon this afternoon.  have i ever been to one?  nope.  have i ever wanted to go to one?  nope.  i just imagined grey haired dudes in weird hats with feathers sticking out and ringing some bell, singing yankee doodle, drawing tickets out of a wooden chest, singing the national anthem, and ending with a four phrase ritualistic chant.  oh wait i didn’t imagine that - it really happened!  above all it was a great experience and i’m glad i went.  ok so maybe i’m exaggerating.  no wait – i really enjoyed my time with herb and i got to meet some very influential people in our community.  these really are good guys and i hope to serve in anyway i can!  that’s the truth. 

after a speed workout in the pool with my “triathlete in the making” wes i headed back to java dave’s knocked out some more computer time.  my ironman training pushed me to do another workout with an rsu student that i’ve been attempting to ride with for over two months.  i literally was caught off guard as i thought i was riding with napoleon dynamite!  mark looks just like him and it so awesome!  it’s even more awesome that he wants to be apart of The Well and help serve in anyway he can.  he may look like napoleon but his attitude and his spirit is totally opposite.

we just got home from eating chinese at panda – ahh general tso’s is pretty stinken good!  cale put away a plate of rice and helped me with my chicken.  man this kid can eat!   i can honestly say i lived out my mantra today to the fullest: live each day like it’s my last!

a cry of desparation

usually on mondays and wednesdays i hit the road to do insurance inspections.  i get in my truck, turn on my ipod with my favorite worship songs, and begin to worship – then i begin to pray.  yesterday i just had a hard time getting through – so i felt.  i just didn’t sense anything.  i struggled in my prayer time – i know others have never faced this.  i asked if there was sin in my heart that perhaps was causing me to feel distant.  finally i just layed it out before god and said, “god i know you are here, you never leave me nor forsake me, i trust you……. i don’t have to “feel you” i just simply put my faith that you are hearing me.  almost immediately my heart broke as i just felt a breakthrough.

have you ever felt like that before?  sometimes it is just harder than others?  last night as i checked my final email, i went to bed.  as i attempted to go to sleep – it was as though i had just consumed three red bulls.  i tossed and turned and knew immediately – it was one of those nights.  what do i mean?  my spirit was tugging me to get out of bed and listen…. i can be one of the most skeptical people in the world when it comes to this stuff – but as i draw closer to christ i just believe.  never in my life have i ever felt so strongly to look at a specific passage of scripture – acts 18:6.  as i got out of bed – i just sensed that this verse would clear up some worry that i had and that it would be a life verse with me and this endeavor.  as i read out of the message verses 6-11.

“when silas and timothy arrived from macedonia, paul was able to give all his time to preaching and teaching, doing everything he could to persuade the jews that jesus was in fact god’s messiah.  but no such luck.  all they did was argue contentiously and contradict him at every turn.  totally exasperated, paul had finally had it with them and gave it up as a bad job.  “have it your way, then, he said.  “you’ve made your bed; now lie in it.  from now i’m spending my time with the other nations.”

he walked out and went to the home of titius justus, a god-fearing man who lived right next to the jews’ meeting place.  but paul’s efforts with the jews weren’t a total loss, for crispus, the meeting-place president, put his trust in the master.  his entire family believed with him.  in the course of listening to paul, a great many corinthians believed and were baptized.  one night the master spoke to paul in a dream: “keep it up, and don’t let anyone intimidate or silence you.  no matter what happens, i’m with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you.  you have no idea how many people i have on my side in this city.”  that was all he needed to stick it out.”

the rest involved me laying on my face crying for a really long time.  i told amy this morning i haven’t had that kind of experience where i literally felt such a strong presence as though people were in the room, in over six years.  it was a cry of desparation to hear the voice of god, to see miracles, to see people’s marriages restored, to see god move in such a way that we know it was him.  i read so many times about peter’s shadow literally healing people, or paul going into a village and speaking and blind people can see.  i want that in my own life.  i want to experience it.  i’m hungry and am believing that it is going to happen in my community, in my own house.  i’m desparate for more and i’m thirsting and hungering for it.  the word says, “if we will hunger and thirst we will be filled”.  if we will confess our sins and turn our face toward heaven, he will forgive us and heal our land”.  “in the last days he will pour out his spirit.”

are you hungry?  are you thirsty?  do you want something more?  do you want to see the hand of god move?  pray… pray alot…. lets hunger for him more than anything else.

an arrow in the bow of christ

when was the last time you’ve played with play-doh?  for me it is usually after camden has gone to town, and i’m picking the crusty morsels (after it has dried out) from his bedroom carpet.  i honestly believe play-doh was created by someone that grew up despising their parents so it was a way to make all parents pay for their misery.

this morning i led a small group discussion on the topic of being childlike before christ.  as an object lesson i challenged everyone to create a symbol that represented what they wanted to be as a christ-follower right now.  it was hilarious to see what everyone came up with.  unfortunately my lack of artistic ability came to the forefront during this activity – i have none… somehow an arrow was created amongst the blob of play-doh that layed before me.  why an arrow?  this may sound cheezy, but i truly desire to be an arrow in the bow of christ!  i just want him to pull me back and shoot me in whatever direction he wants everyday.  never in my life have i been as passionate to pursue others with an authentic love.  i’m on a pursuit to follow christ as closely as possible and out of that – he is causing me to pursue others.

about seven years ago i met a young man that was discouraged and lacked faith.  there was an experience that happened in his life and he left everything he believed.  i was apart of that and i’ve never forgotten it.  our family moved off and so i lost track of him.  about six months ago we saw him walking in town and i’ve not stopped pursuing him.  after daily prayers, over 25 phone calls, two no-show b-fast invites, and one late night no-show – he called me last night and we talked for over an hour and a half.  i listened to him pour out his fears, hurts, pains, frustrations, and doubts.  afterwards i asked him, “what made you finally call me?”  he said, “i finally came to a place where i needed someone, you called me so many times and never stopped giving up on me, i knew you cared, and i couldn’t help but call you.  i need someone like you in my life”.

why am i telling you this?  why?  well, because this same young man is in your life.  he might be a neighbor that lives across the street you’ve seen getting into his car, he might be the quiet coworker that is a loner, he might be in your family living in your house, he might be your friend.  perhaps you need to pick up the phone.  perhaps you need to write an email.  perhaps you need to walk over to them.  perhaps….. you need to pursue them.  go after them.  they need you more than you’ll ever know.  you might be their only source of hope.  pursue them.  who knows it may take 25 calls – maybe 25 years – but there life is worth it.  lets not spend the rest of our lives feeling like we were created for everyone around us to pursue us – we were created to pursue others with the love of christ.

who do you need to pursue right now?  what name or face comes to mind?  go get em.

big slash & outdoor movie theater

one of amy’s cousins came in from colorado on thursday night.  kevin and his brother ryan are doing ironman lousiville with me in a few months.  it was an honor to get to know him more and knock out 60 miles as the sun was coming up. 

upon completition we were rewarded with a trip to big splash in tulsa.  cale put on his hat and polished off 1/2 a bag of pretzels, while camden and his cousin ashton were able to go down some “really really big slides” for the first time.  the rest of us walked away with wedgies from the actual “really really big slide”!

we ended the night out claremore lake for a community-wide movie night.  it was awesome!  they had games set up, free food, and we watched “surf’s up”.  one of my closest friends matt, who happens to be our assistant city manager, put on a great show.  after living in ft worth for nearly 3 years with all the ammenities within 30 minutes away – i sat back and couldn’t help but think this was better.  my family on a blanket at a lake with people i knew that were my friends.  i love my community!

 

 

 

a church planter’s day

this afternoon as i sit here at java dave’s answering email – i reflect back on this day and wonder where it went.  what does the day of a church planter look like in claremore ok?  i get two quality days a week in the endeavor of The Well.  on tuesdays i spend time focusing on admin, planning, & strategizing.  thursdays is my people & meeting day.  both days i always try and schedule a lunch with someone different.  well here goes:

730am - meet a tri friend for 50 laps in the pool (pray for someone different on each lap)

900am – meet, ask questions, and pray for our city manager

1000am – return phone calls

1015am – meet and pray with our director of DHS services

1100am – lunch with a youth pastor friend & ok chi alpha director

1200pm – coalition meeting with all social service organizations in rogers county

100pm – attempt to visit some youth at the rogers county youth shelter

115pm – hang out at wood manor nursing home

215pm – drop off a table for a friend’s garage sale

230pm – pick up & drop off a friend at his work (spend time in counseling and prayer)

330pm – answer emails & computer stuff, time in the word

500pm – family time

700pm - attend camden’s vbs graduation

800pm – late dinner with family from out of town

may the seeds be dropped all over this community.  may god honor the time spent.  may he cause all things to grow.