turning 30

This past Saturday I entered into a new chapter in my life story.  It kept creeping up on me and I was not looking forward to it at all.  It was quite depressing.  I loved being in my 20’s.  To be honest?  It scares me sometimes to think that I’m getting a little older.  Do you ever wander this?  Sometimes I feel as though this pressure from within says I should be further along.  I should be making more money, or be in better shape, or have more stuff by now, or be living in a bigger house, or whatever.  Its like there’s an elephant in our culture that no one talks about – but it’s there.  

My mom recently showed me a book that described life stages.  The 20’s tend to be a experimental stage, followed by the 30’s which are landing your mark and figuring out what you really want to do with you life, and the 40’s are a time to settle in.  I don’t know.  

We took a trip to see my family in TX for Thanksgiving and I was inwardly longing to hear from God on the matter.  I decided to take a trail run into the unknown and climb up the side of a mountain.  As I reached the top of this hill I rested on a log and sat quietly as I looked out at the view.  I shared my fears and thoughts with God.  I desparately wanted to hear his voice and asked for him to speak into my life and into this new chapter.  The only way to describe it was like a rushing wind that came down.  I broke in tears as I felt God encourage me just like he did Joshua in the OT.  ”Ricky don’t worry and don’t be afraid.  You continue to love me with a relentless passion and pursuit and what I pour into you I want you to love others. That’s all I want you to do.  You are being obedient and that is all I ask.  I’m going to do far greater things in your 30’s than you could ever imagine, trust me, trust me.  I love you and am pleased with you.  Don’t feel like you have to be perfect just try.  Live your life with no regrets.  Take risks.  I’m with you and I love you”.

It seems for the past year Feb 22 has become a constant reminder.  What if this?  What if that?  I have no idea what will occur with the endeavor of The Well.  I’ve given it all I’ve got.  The rest is in his hands.  All I want to see is a community transformed by the love of Christ.  A community served with an authentic love. I just want to see barriers stripped that would keep people from a relationship – an adventure, a journey with Christ.  There’s nothing better.  If I had to be thankful of one thing turning 30 it is this – that I turned 30.  A year ago I had a tumor and could’ve been given 6 months to live.  I’m thankful every day I can wake up and love my wife and boys one more day.  If I had one lesson I’ve learned up until this point in my life it is this – there’s nothing better than waking up every day and serving Christ – chasing him, following him, listening to him.  For far too long my relationship with Jesus was determined by church or what other believers did or didn’t do.  My eyes are on him and I’m madly in love with my Savior.  I hope others can have that too.

in our behalf

Two weeks ago my FNL and I went down to McKinney TX to make the deal for our trailers.  On the way back I was able to do two things.  The first thing I was able to do was call a very special church in my heart and thank them for the miracle.  The second thing I was able to do was drive back thinking back through God’s incredible favor in allowing us to purchase these two trailers loaded with cases and sound equipment.  

Starting in August Amy and one of the girls from our team sent out over 200 packets with information about our church asking for financial partners.  Only three responded, but….. one was huge!  I met the Pastor at a prayer summit in Springfield in April and he told me we would be stupid not to call him.. so we did.  I got a call while in Louisville, at the end of August, from this specific church if we would be an affiliated church and I said yes.  The girl on the phone replied, “that’s all I needed to know”.  I hung up and didn’t think much of it.

Now fast forward a week later.  I found out about these trailers down in TX worth over $40,000 and was encouraged to call the Pastor.  I called and he said he would be willing to cut me a deal.  We only had $3000 in our account.  I hung up and tried making calls but reality was…. we had nothing.  To be straight up real…… I sat in my truck in Nemar Shopping Center in Claremore OK besides Quiznos and cried.  I prayed in brokenness and told God, “I’ve never been good at raising money as a Student Pastor, God we could sure use this!  We need a miracle!  If you want us to have this make it happen only you can!”.  

I drove away discouraged.  We had spent more money on postage and materials with our packets than anything received.  Two days later I drove with my family to our PO Box hoping and praying as usual.  I let Camden open it up and turn the key.  It was an envelope….. from a church.  I was blown away as I opened it up to see a couple of zeros.  I thanked God, “A check for a $100!  Thank you Jesus!”.  I peeled it open a little more to see another zero.  I about lost it.  ”$1000 are you kidding me?”  I didn’t even finish it I was so thankful.  As Camden and I about got to the car I pulled it completely out and had to look at this check three times.  This church had given us $20000!  I repeat $20000!   If you look at the above picture, Camden thought we were headed to Toys R Us for a shopping spree.

I melted and broke down.  I walked on the sidewalk of the Post Office and threw my hands toward heaven with tears bursting and as I choked gave praise to a God that had just done a miracle.  I’m sure if you have put the numbers together but the offer for the trailers was right around $22700.  With our $3000 in our account it came out to $23000.  

You know my whole life I’ve heard of people opening their mailbox or something crazy like that and seeing a check when they didn’t have money to pay a bill.  I always second guessed it.  I always thought it was a coincidence.  Why?  Because it had never happened to me so I chose not to believe that something like that could happen.  Perhaps it never did because I didn’t have faith that it could so why would God allow it to happen to me?  Perhaps I had never been in a place of complete dependence and desparation and so hungry for God to act on my behalf.  

Are you in a place of needing a financial miracle or just a miracle in general?  How desperate are you?  If so, why not just look upward and see what might fall out of heaven.  If I can be praying with you about anything please let me know – I will never doubt again.

Love this quote from Mark Batterson:

Here’s one of my favorite phrases in Scripture. I Samuel 14:6says, “Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf.” I love that modus operandi. But I honestly think many if not most Christians take the opposite approach. Perhaps the Lord WON’T act in our behalf. We letfear dictate our decisions. We have a better-safe-than-sorrymentality. We live as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.

Maybe it’s time for a paradigm shift. When did we start believing that God wants to take us to safe places to do easy things? Here’s a thought: the will of God is not an insurance plan. It’s a daring plan.

I think we’ve made a false assumption that the will of God gets easier as we grow spiritually. Some dimensions do get easier with the consistent practice of spiritual disciplines. But I also think God will give us more difficult, dangerous, and daring things to do!

I love this phrase. It’s so hopeful. It’s so optimistic. And it’s the key to living with holy anticipation. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. May God give us the spirit of Jonathan!

bed of roses

Eight weeks ago I embarked on a journey with 19 others from my community.  It was so cool to be apart of the first ever Claremore Citizen’s Academy.  They took a picture and I think I blinded myself from the camera hitting my shiny head!  I learned so much about the inner workings of our city and gave me such a respect and admiration for our city worker’s that run Claremore and provide a safe place for my family.  I’m proud to live in the fastest growing county in Oklahoma.  Click here to read more.  I must give a toss out to our city’s new website which provides Red Alert – good stuff when you need to grab your kids out of bed in the middle night to put them in the bathtub – yes that did happen not so long ago.

As I graduated from this academy it made me rethink that not even two years ago I really didn’t like Claremore at all and didn’t want to live here more than 2 years.  One day while at a doctor’s office I read the statement in a reader’s digest article, “Your home is where your roots are the deepest”.  I struggled ever since college and felt restless everywhere I would live.  I realized that day something that Dale Carnegie once wrote:

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us put off living, we’re all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside of our own window everyday” 

It streamlined my very heart beat.  It woke me up out of a coma I had been in and realized – NOW was the time to live each day like it was my last.  We always want more, we always want the next best thing, we always are trying to get to the next level in our job, have a better home, on and on and on.  For me – I’ve settled in and plan on leaving a mark and making a difference where God has called me.  I’m truly happy and content to say that I’ve found my home and am having the time of my life living in my rose garden.

How about you?  Have you found your bed of roses, or are you still searching for your rose garden?  I don’t believe that it is a destination or position and we will never be happy until we are content with right now.

a leadership team & no substitutes

Yesterday I got to spend the day with a pretty cool team – Leadership Rogers County. We spent the morning at the NE Tech Center.  I was blown away at the hospitality and level of excellence that they exhibited.  We also got to tour some school campuses.  I enjoyed having some conversations with others about their outlook on christian schools.  We finished the day by listening to a panel of school administrators talk about education within our state.  

I truly look forward to this time once a month to hang out with these incredible people.  I have already learned a tremendous amount from all of them and love growing as a team as we work toward a common goal – to better our community.  I’ve been given the nickname “The Rev”.  It’s all good to me.  I just hope that I can be who I am and show them that Pastors really are pretty good guys and blow them away with any perceptions they may have.  I just want to live one of my core values, which is to be me.  I’d rather be disliked for who I am then liked for who I am not.  We are currently working on a project to raise money to remodel a social organization here in Rogers County.  

Today was spent out on the road.  This morning I got to spend with my best all-time friend and had him all to myself as I worshipped on my IPOD.  I love turning my day over to Christ.  I heard a recent quote that has smacked me in the face lately, “Give God what’s in your hand and he will give you what’s in your heart”. Man I can go on that for the rest of the week.  There’s simply no substitute for fresh bread in the morning.  I feel as though as he pours and pours in and I drink in from his presence, he fills me up.  Therefore it allows me to pour into others, otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to give anyone else.  

Well I’d better end the blogging for the night as my 4 year old is informing me that it is time to play PBSkids.org – if you have a youngster it is a must.

a 4 year old musician

Four years ago today I became not just a father but a daddy.  I believe any man out there can become a father by giving birth to a child, but a daddy loves.  I hope I can be a half of what my dad was for me and still is.  We celebrate as a family tonight Camden’s fourth b-day.  He got to pick what he wanted to eat (McDonald’s cheeseburger) and get a movie at Blockbuster.  We came home and Amy had hidden his big present in the closet where he took off on a scavenger hunt.  His face said it all when he opened up the box to find a guitar!  

For the past several months on Sunday afternoons, he has watched Amy and Davey practice for worship.  He loves to watch Davey play the guitar and sing with his mommy.  I think we have a musician on our hands, that is until baseball comes around….. He is already learning how to play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”.  I’m proud of my 4 year old and I’m thrilled to be his daddy.

getting naked together

 

 This past weekend was one of the funnest weekends I’ve had in  years!  Team Well gathered together over at the RSU Hilltop Challenge on Saturday morning, after yours truly fixed some mean breakfast burritos, to knock out some team building and hit the ropes course.  I was so proud of our team as they worked together with such positive attitudes and found creative ways to work together to solve problems.  Amy attempted to be sarcastically funny as she was drawing near the end of her challenge, but I couldn’t resist a picture of her.

On Saturday evening we spent time together collaborating on our specific roles within the team, as well as planning and delegating for our upcoming serving events.  I’m still blown away at how much this young team is putting their fingerprints all over this endeavor of The Well.  I can’t believe I get to be apart of a team like this!

Sunday morning came early as we discussed in our groups how we could fall more in love with Christ as we spend time in prayer.  Our desire is to be a band of brothers and sisters that refuse to STAND ALONE.  We followed that up with our main gathering in which we prayed, worshipped, took communion for the first time together, and wrestled with Romans 12 together.  Morgan’s brokenness and humility as she led a time of communion was priceless and got me choked up as well.  I ended it out talking about being an authentic community and getting naked together by being HOT (honest, open, and transparent).  A friend once told me, “You truly don’t love someone until you make their bed!”.  My desire for this team is that when one of us cries, we all cry.  When one of us laughs, we all laugh!  One for all and all for one!

After getting lunch at Arby’s we came back and discussed our G5 strategy, our budget, and what February 22nd will look like.  It was an incredible day that I’ll never forget as our garage was packed with hungry, passionate, humbled Christ-followers…..

the best kind of love

Man I honestly think this is the longest I’ve gone not blogging since I started a year ago.  I’m sitting here at Java Dave’s looking out the window as this miserable cold weather is cruising into Claremore.  I am drooling out of the side of my mouth due to a filling I received this morning.  I’m glad I read in 2 Cor 7:9 this morning, “let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him”.  My dentist definetly drove me toward God as his distress on his driller was penetrating my mouth!  

I’ve reached a full season in my life and although trying to balance life, two jobs, ironman training, family, and laying the groundwork for The Well a few months ago was full – I don’t think I’ve ever been as busy as I am now – granted the week of no blogging.  I spent from January to mid summer doing what I love most – building relationships and serving every where I could in the community.  Over the past several months as our public date draws nearer I find myself wrestling.  I long to be serving or initiating another relationship, but the administration that comes with starting a church or a new business at some would relate – takes its toll.  The majority of my time, because I still work 30 hours a week with AFR, is spent with admin, planning for our weekly gatherings, and team building.  

I deal with a personal fear – becoming a full-time Pastor that spends a majority of his time in a closed office and having 9-10 people he knows being church folk.  I love being bi-vocational, but the demands are taking their toll.  With that said, one of the best times I look forward to is heading to Java Dave’s to do some of my “office” work.  Anyone can fall into the trap mentioned above, but I refuse to do it.  I met a young man of 21 years old a few weeks ago while sitting here named Bryce.  We small chatted and I vowed to myself and God that if I saw him again – I would share Christ with him.  

Today as I walked in he was sitting at a table.  We talked for a bit and I just took a plunge and asked him, “Bryce what is your thoughts about Jesus?”.  He told me that he attended a church outside of town and believes in God.  I asked him, “but what do you think of Jesus?”.  He said, “No one ever ask me that question”.  His eyes expressed an incredible joy and sincerity as he spoke with me about Jesus and his love for him!  It ignited a passion in my heart just hearing him talk!  My new friend and brother inspired me today!  I told him that I had been praying for him and if I truly believe what I say I do and love people – that I had to make sure that he knew the love of Christ that I did.  What an incredible joy to know Bryce is in relationship with Jesus, but what if he wasn’t?  What if I was sitting in an office right now?  I love these opportunities of being portable and being where people are.  My prayer today is that God would send more Bryce’s into my life to make sure they have the best kind of love in the world – the Jesus kind!

a doulos for christ

Our desire as a team tonight was to grab ahold of what the early Christ followers called themselves “servants of Christ.”  In Greek, there is a special word for this type of servant; doulos, which means slave.  When a man becomes a slave he ceases to have any say in his own life.  We broke up into groups and targeted in on making Jesus the Lord of our lives and becoming love slaves for him.  We also gathered together and shared our life stories.

Here’s some thoughts from our discussion on Lordship:

 

• The greatest thing we can know as a Christ follower is that God is God and I am not
• The rich young ruler wanted salvation without lordship over his finances
• We ought to tie ourselves in the cockpit and dive on the deck and if we get out, we go out.  Sink or swim, live or die, irrevocably in love and faith and devotion to Christ in our commitment.
• Christ followers ought to be crucified with Christ.  It means 3 things: face only one direction, not to go back, and have no further plans of our own.
• 20 minutes on your knees in silence before God will sometimes teach you more than you can learn out of books and teach you more than you can ever learn in church.
• A good definition of a Christ follower is somebody who is back from the dead.
• No man can change the world until he himself has been changed.
• A man who is trying to run his own life will worry.
• Build yourself a little fire in the secret place in your heart where you can self-sacrifice your selfishness

 

Some incredible quotes I’m wrestling with are:

“The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.  How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it” G.K. Chesterton

“You have an imaginary Christ, and if you are satisfied with an imaginary Christ you must be satisfied with imaginary salvation” John Owen the old Puritan

Amy shared an illustration of a jar of beans and walnuts.  Our lives represent a jar and all our selfish desires are beans and the walnuts are God’s priorities.  If you fill it up with beans first you can’t fit all the walnuts in, but if you put the walnuts in first all the beans will fit.  Man this ate me up tonight as I admitted to our team my lack of priorities lately.  I’ve been putting in all the “good beans” and working on church stuff.  I’ve neglected my exercise, nutrition, time with family, and been consumed with the beans.  We are keeping this jar out as a reminder!  

The greatest question we asked ourselves was: Why do you do the things you do, and who do you do them for?  So what about you?  What are you a slave to or to whom?

a team i am proud of

Tonight as I am about to hit the pillow, I can’t help but reflect on how proud I am of my team.  Around 10 servers from Team Well put on rubber gloves and grabbed trash bags and hit the street after the Will Roger’s Parade.  We were once again the “Official Parade Cleaning Crew” for Claremore.  I loved it and was honored to express our love for our community this afternoon.  I’m still amazed at how much ownership our team had in this and found myself not really having to do anything at all to plan and communicate this serving opp.  I love each and every player on this team and am already looking forward to serving with them at a Spaghetti Dinner for Team Claremore next week.  

Tomorrow we get to spend time together again in our groups and our gathering.  Right now we are meeting at 5pm to create a brotherhood and sisterhood amongst our team.  It is one of my favorite times of the week to sit amongst guys and truly look each other in the eyes with transparency and honest as we strive to live for Christ.  I thank God for an authentic community to share my life with and to BE THE CHURCH with!  I already can’t wait until tomorrow!

sugar and a wolf

 As my little dragon and pirate headed out into Spring brook neighborhood tonight,  I reminded myself that 4 hours later my 3 year old would still be doing back flips  on my bed.  As he approached each door saying, “Arrrrr matey” it brought back  memories of when I was a kid.  One house had a strobe light blinking with this guy  who painted his face like a skeleton.  Next to him was this huge trash barrel, as  soon as the pirate and our neighbor’s kid (who was batman) approached, this wolf jumped out of the trash!  Camden screamed like a little girl and I thought he had urinated in his tights! Good times as a day, although it will probably come back to bite me in the middle of the night when he has bad dreams over this stinken wolf.  I remember as a kid going out and at times my family going out to the  local bowling alley in Salem New Hampshire on Halloween night.   

Today was a blast hanging with the three most special people in my life.  It doesn’t get any better starting it out with french toast, eggs, and potatoes for breakfast……