be aware

A few weeks ago a personal trainer, in whom I worked at The Platinum Center with, and good friend of mine sent me some steps on eliminating the emotional eating cycle.  I figured I would follow up my last blog with some helpful ways to fight against one of the leading reasons for people being overweight.  I know without a doubt the reason I gained 20 lbs over the winter was because of working two jobs and being completely stressed out in getting The Well going.  I was tired and ate to make me feel better – have you ever done that?  My friend Jeannie, who works at Exerbotics gives some great tips with the acronym AWARE:

Aware- Become aware of you eating habits

 

As your level of awareness increases, you’ll become less of an unconscious eater and become a conscious eater. The important thing to do is stop and think. Ask yourself a few questions before you eat…

·      Am I thinking of eating because I’m physically hungry or for another reason?

·      If it’s not physical hunger, then why am I thinking about eating this?

·      What will be the immediate consequence if I eat this?

·      What will be the long-term consequences of eating this?

·      What would be my reward for saying no to this?

·      Is eating this going to move me closer to, or farther away from my goal?

 

Watch out for your emotional triggers

Arrest 

Replace certain foods with healthier ones

Establish your beliefs 

There are always constructive ways to feel satisfied. It is NOT about eating the food, it is about getting the feeling you thought you’d get from eating that food.

    SOME, when they become depressed, drown their sorrows in alcohol or binge eat… SOME seek professional help, or call a good friend or loved one and work it through. Social support and sympathetic ears can be powerfully therapeutic.

    SOME reach for food when they feel stressed… SOME take up yoga, take a bubble bath, light candles and play soothing music, paint or create art, or go for a walk through the park or the woods, or simply remove themselves from the stress.

    SOME come home from work exhausted and immediately reach for food, some take a nap or find ways to improve their nightly quality of sleep.

    SOME reach for food when they are upset or angry, SOME work it out…they head for the gym, go for a run, or take a kickboxing class….

    When you feel the temptation to feed emotional hunger, distraction or movement helps. Emotion follows motion. Physical movement may well be the best strategy because the mind and body are connected. When you move your body, you change the way you feel. The worst thing you can do is nothing. Do any of these hit close to home? How will you change your strategy? 

What do you truly believe about your body? Do you view it as a high performance vehicle? If you did you probably would take care of what kind of fuel you were putting into it, right!? If you believed that your body was a lean fat fighting machine, how do you think it might affect your attitude toward training? How would it affect your response to adversity, if you thought of yourself as a warrior? Most people don’t realize that “harmless” nicknames and labels actually change behavior and affect the way we see ourselves. If you are gong to label yourself, why not choose empowering labels? Make a list of how you see yourself and how you see food. ask yourself…” Are my thoughts empowering or self defeating?” Here are some  thoughts , which one is self defeating?… 

• Food is fuel.
• Food is the best medicine.
• Food is construction material for the body.
• Fruit is nature’s candy.
• It’s impossible to eat right when i’m traveling.
• Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
• Food is for energy.
• It’s good to eat as organic as possible.

Once you have your list, ask yourself, ” Does believing this move me toward or away from my goal?” Replacement is the key. Replace your negative,self defeating thoughts with positive empowering ones.

   ” I used to believe that eating would make me feel good, but now I realize that overeating only made me feel sluggish, bloated, and guilty afterward. It wasn’t worth any short term relief I got. What really makes me feel good is being in control and the victory I feel from becoming fitter, healthier, and better than I was yesterday”

 

i refuse to be a fat pastor

I’m blown away that I live in the 2^nd worst state in our nation for obesity and that it is becoming one of the lead causes for death.  It’s also humorous, but extremely frustrating to me that in the full-time field in which I work, most Pastors are over-weight.  They fight against every sin in the Bible, but seem to forget the one about gluttony.  Why is it wrong for people to drown in their emotional stress by drinking or smoking, which leads to death, but not to go to an all you can eat buffet?  I have never understood this and it is a white elephant in the church today, that no one seems to ever talk about.  That’s probably because the one doing most of it is the one that is guilty!  I don’t want to be a fat pastor!  If I can’t control that discipline and to lazy to get it off – how in the world would I have the discipline to conquer other areas in my life?  I don’t care if any one says it or not – that’s what so many in our churches today are inwardly thinking, especially athletes and those that are passionate about being healthy.

My dream is that I would Pastor a healthy church!  Normally that means spiritually, but my prayer is emotionally and physically as well. Can you imagine a church that is eating healthy and exercising?  Can you imagine the energy level they would have to serve the community?  People wouldn’t be missing out on Sunday gatherings nearly as much because they aren’t sick!  Maybe we ought to change our name to The Wellness Church!  O.K. so a little cheesy but I’m ready for it!   The Bible says physical exercise is of small benefit, but yet it is still of benefit.  It provides us with energy and helps us live longer to do the things he’s called us to do!  I am so proud already that our church is getting so involved in volunteering and participating in area triathlons, running in local races, and eating healthier.  Check out the newly formed Claremore training group.

It is also my desire to lead the charge by volunteering myself, as well as participating in the following.  Several years ago I was able to lose 70lbs and was able to complete an Ironman last year.  When I finished it and got home several friends and family asked me, “Now what?”  I said, “What do you mean?”  I’m good to go!  I rode my bike one other time in the last six months and hung up my running shoes.  Guess what?  I put on 20lbs over the winter!  I am as guilty as anyone!  If any of you are interested in joining me in shedding unwanted weight and be on the road to being healthier I would love to help you train:

Also here are several links of upcoming events and websites:

May 31 – Route 66 Sprint Triathlon

June 13 – June Bug Jog 5K

September 19 – Redman Half Ironman

November 22 – Route 66 Tulsa Marathon

Trinewbies

Beginner Triathlete

Oklahoma Runner

So with all that rambling hopefully that gets you fired up to get off the couch!  What can you do today to make a goal?  It doesn’t mean you have to be a full blown triathlete, but perhaps you could get out and take a walk.  Perhaps you could lay aside the Dr. Pepper and grab a bottled water!  Just because you are thin doesn’t make you healthy either!  Hopefully if all of this gets you charged up one way or another at least I got you thinking about it.  I’m just tired of seeing people unhappy about their self-esteem, having no energy, getting sick and gaining tons of diseases.  O.K. I’m done.

sunday @ the well

2nd-Time Guests

It is one thing for people to come and visit once.  It is a totally different thing for them to come again.  We know this from dating.  If you don’t click with that person there’s no way another opportunity is coming.  I was blown away at all of our guests that came back from Easter Sunday!  I loved hearing this from one couple, “We came and were going to visit on Easter and then visit several other churches afterwards.  We enjoyed it so much why go visit anywhere else.  We found our church home!”  Our greeters were so eager to welcome people in they started loving people outside the doors, even further in the parking lot!  Thank God for volunteers that serve with passion!

Escaping Our Alcatrazes

Four months ago as we planned this teaching series, I knew then this would be one of the most life-changing series that we would do this year.  My prayer is that people that have been hurt and wounded in their past would not become angry which leads to bitterness, but to forgive and experience healing.  I firmly believe that is happening one person at a time.  I had a cool opportunity last night to stay up till 1am with a good friend as healing is taking place in his mind and heart.

A Church of Givers

A month or so ago I was a bit fearful.  To be honest as Amy and I took the step of faith to become full-time with The Well I had still had some doubts.  Mentors, coaches, and other church leaders warned me that it would be unbelievably tough to finance an infant church made up of the unchurched, college students, young professionals just starting their careers, and young couples with small kids that are living pay check to pay check.  They were right.  Did I mention the economic depression as well?  I’ve prayed diligently that God would remain faithful.  Someone told me awhile back, “where God guides, he provides”.  We took our first offering on February 22nd and gave $3615 to drill a water well.  I believe God has honored that and I’m glad to see our church is home to some amazing givers now, tithers I would add.  Yesterday we took our 2nd largest offering in the history of The Well praise God!  We are moving forward!  It isn’t so much about the church receiving the offering, as much as people having an opportunity every week to be faced with the decision, “will I trust God with my finances”.  People are trusting him and that leaves a smile on God’s face!

Proactive Problem Solvers

Our nursery continues to expand and it has been a challenge for us.  Yesterday several of our leaders got on the phones and made it happen!  We have loving adults and parents that have been scheduled for the next two months to make our nursery our absolute #1 priority right now!  Thank you to a team that sees a potential problem and creates an immediate solution.

Team Well Gathering Gone Crazy

Our team met last night and it was like a family reunion!  They know how to laugh and have fun!  At one point I leaned over to Amy and we both said, “Can you believe this?  This is what we’ve always longed to be apart of!”.  We were able to move through some of the following:

1.  The Sticky Factor – Groups: We have many people come through the front doors, but we believe in order for people to stick and call us their church home we must help people with two things.  Find a place to serve and build relationships.  I believe that is the point in which people don’t just attend but they belong!  I can’t wait as we implement our groups in the first week of June!  That’s when true authentic community will explode at The Well Church!

2.  Growing Pains: We have reached a place as well that if we are to move forward and truly shepherd those that God is bringing to us we are going to have to restructure our leadership.  Right now we are O.K., but will never push forward unless we have multiple shepherds for this flock, others people can go to.  We are moving to a place where over the next six months we will be implementing staff, as well as in the next year elders.  I pray that God would surround our team with people that will bleed for the hearts in our community that are away from God.  I pray for men and women that have a burning passion for Jesus and other people.  I’m praying for people that belong to The Well for the long road ahead.

3.  Self Leadership: Before we ended the night with a little dance off and guitar hero, we challenged each other to self-lead and be self-feeders.  We can’t lead anyone if we can’t first be disciplined enough to lead ourselves.  It is important that we spend time drinking in if we are to be able to pour out.  I challenged our leaders to not allow their cups to go dry.  Some questions asked as it pertains to mind/body/spirit.  You can read more from someone that has been an incredible source of encouragement to me.  He’s a friend, a coach, a fellow church planter, and more importantly my brother.  Read more here.

Are we spending time with Christ each day falling in love with him through scripture and prayer?

What books are we currently reading to feed our mind?

What are we doing to eat healthier and exercise?

Who are we loving and serving one person at a time?

How can we lead ourselves this week and put this into our weekly schedule?

parakletos

S – “I will give you another advocate, who will never leave you, but you know Him, because he lives with you now.  I will not abandon you as orphans– I will come to you.  I am leaving you with a gift – a peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

O – God in the trinity didn’t want us to be alone so he sent Jesus.  Jesus went on into heaven and so he left us with the holy spirit who is our advocate which in Greek is “parakletos” means “called alongside”.  He is our constant presence.  He doesn’t abandon us and we are never alone – praise his name!  Perhaps there’s no greater gift than peace of mind and heart.  I love it!  The world has nothing just temporary things to make us joyful.  I don’t have to be afraid of anything because he’s with me!  Nothing too great that I can’t handle will be put on my plate today!  He’s with me!  He loves me!  

A – I can live today with so much faith and confidence that his presence is with me.  I can confide in others, but…. he gives me the peace & love I need.  My grandma lost her husband of over 50 years around 5 years ago, she’s over 90 years old!  Most spouses die quickly at that age after they lose the love of their lives!  She’s kept going reading the word and praying!  She’s lived on because Papa wasn’t her answer and didn’t quench all her love.  She’s madly in love with Jesus and has ultimate communion with him!  What an example to me!

P – Father, thank you!  Thank you that you care and love me this much.  Thank you that you are here, right now, not distant, but oh so very close.  I know your here as much as the rain drops falling outside my window or the candle burning on my desk.  You are my constant, my advocate.  Thank you Jesus I praise your name today!  I give you this week and trust you completely.  Amen

sheep shearing anyone

 Fridays are like a Saturday for the Van Pay’s, because of the prep that goes into Sundays.  I love to unplug and do my best to let God put me back together again and allow me to rest my mind.  I enjoyed reading in 1 Timothy this morning and hit a 15 mile bike ride around Claremore Lake.  It was a little depressing as Amy got back home from taking Camden to register for school in the fall.  He had to get his shots updated, but it wasn’t too bad considering his mouth was covered in powdered doughnuts – way too go Mommy!  

We were able to sneak away to Shepherd’s Cross for a little sheep shearing.  Man I could think of a billion metaphors as I watched this process.  We got to see our friend Rebecca as she took the wool and used her creative hands to make things that I still can’t believe.  We took a drive as a family, ate a little Napoli’s, and caught my nephew Ashton’s t-ball game.  I just knocked out a great book and headed to sleep.  I’m looking forward to tweaking Sunday’s message in the morning and planning for our Team Well gathering on Sunday night.  I absolutely love that time with our team each month and can’t wait!   

So what do you do to unwind?  Do you take a Sabbath?  Do you ever let God put you back together and let him love you for just being you?  Or is it determined by works and what you do?  I’m thankful to be at a place (taken me most of my life) to recognize no matter how much I do for Him it won’t make him love me any more than what he already does.  Isn’t that an incredible assurance?  I love it!  Even the days I totally mess up and blow it…… He still loves me the same, no more, and no less.  I think He can still make the world happen without us for one day a week!  How could I have ever thought differently?  Pride….. enough said.

hamster no longer spinning

Do you ever feel like you are spinning like a hamster in a cage?  Do you ever feel like each day is a repetition of the day before?  Better yet, do you feel like your schedule is not your own?  Maybe someone else is controlling it and setting it for you?  For the first 6 weeks of launching The Well that is exactly how I felt.  Really, to be completely transparent, that is how I have felt for the past year and a half.  I can’t complain and brought it totally on myself.  Trying to be Christ-follower, a husband, a dad to two very small boys that need Daddy’s attention and love, a personal trainer, an insurance inspector, triathlete training for an Ironman, and church planter.  Did I mention still trying to be a friend?  Are you kidding me?  What a season of my life!  Did I mention I’m glad it’s over?  I recently heard a quote by Ed Stetzer, ”the demons that drive you are the demons that take you down”.  Wow!  

Two weeks ago the plug was pulled from being an insurance inspector, something I did for 3 1/2 years.  Now….. full-time Pastor.  I’ve been asked quite a bit lately, “How does it feel to be a full-time Pastor?”.  My thinking…. I’ve not stopped being one for the past 3 1/2 years – just not with the financial support or time.   But…. this week I guess I do feel the transition.  I have evenings back and my day off is legitimate.  I can spend time with my family and give them all my attention and not feel guilty about not working on something else.  Balance.  Priorities.  Schedule no longer controlling me but now I’m allowing God to help me control it for my family’s sake, church’s sake, and myself.

I’ve been able to wake up early and not be exhausted, spend quality time in prayer and in God’s Word (that I previously got to do for hours in my truck), exercise, and have some time during the day to not constantly feel like the hamster.  I actually can come in the evening and eat dinner and leave my laptop in my bag and not worry.  Praise Christ that many hours and much time was spent getting this church kicked off the ground, much sacrifice from many volunteers.  That doesn’t mean we step back but we’re just entering into a new season.  A more balanced season.  I’m excited, refreshed, and fired up to serve the Claremore community like never before.  I love our team.  I love this church with all my heart.  I’m excited to have some time to pursue my hobby of triathlon and pick up on some very special relationships made in the sport.  Thank you Jesus for allowing me to get back to a place where I can just be and not constantly do.  

This is the recipe for many years to come of running the marathon of pastoring a church.  Not running the sprint to exhaustion.  So what about you?  Are you controlling your schedule?  Do you need to step back and evaluate for the health of not only yourself, but your family, and your relationship with Christ?

a day in the life of a pastor

Do you ever have one of those days that everything seems to line up and coast along?  Today was one of those days that was without complications.  Wish I could say it was like that all the time!  Well, the little oil change plus the “other stuff” they like to sale you on was unexpected.  Amy’s aunt graciously came over early this morning and gave us a surprise offer to watch the boys.  We were able to escape away for a little breakfast date and shopping.  I absolutely love Panera Bread’s cinnamon raisin bagel with a little strawberry cream cheese – hmmm.  

A little relational face booking, message prep, planning, and a little extra time to read from a very appealing book called Mad Church Disease and I was golden.  I was hoping to sneak a swim in at the rec but due to it being closed for cleaning, had the opportunity to sneak in a 3 mile run with Jesus.  Camden’s soccer practice was a no go, came home had some good chicken with the fam, bath with the boys, and now ready to watch Flushed Away with the boys while Mommy is at band practice.  Good times and looking forward to meeting with some fellow church planters in the morning.

he has a healthy heart

Last week as I was right smack in the middle of studying for Sunday’s message my world stopped.  Everything faded away as Amy called me from the doctor’s office.  She told me Camden would need to go in for some tests to see if he had a possible serious heart murmur.  I had never heard of that before.  It didn’t matter – my son and the word heart gripped me.  We went in on Friday to watch them do a sonogram.  I heard statements like, “there it is” and watch as they paused the screen and highlighted other things.  They could not tell us anything as we watched helplessly.  As I watched my 4 year old watch a movie not having a clue to what was going on – I wanted to take my heart out of my chest and give it to my boy with no hesitation.

They told us it would be 3 business days till we found out something.  On the way home we grabbed Camden a butter finger blast and he wrapped himself up in a blanket (like my mother).  As we’ve waited it has meant the world to have a church family, friends, and relatives reach out with concern and love.  I didn’t realize how many people have been born with a not so serious form of a heart murmur and it hasn’t caused any difficulties in life.  My concern was that it might prevent Camden from doing other things in life.  I love something my dad told me, “It is moments like this where you really have to ask yourself – did I really dedicate him to the Lord?  Is he really yours father God?”  Wow but it is so true.  A friend of mine that attends The Well wrote me this prayer last night which meant so much:

“Dear Heavenly Father, I just thank You for the Van Pay family and their hearts. They truly love You and those You have called them to serve. You told us trials and temptations would come, but I thank You that Your Word says that by Jesus’ stripes we were healed. And so now Father we take claim to that promise for our dear Camden. Lord we thank You that his heart will be 100% restored to optimal health. That his heart will be strong, all the days of his life. That his heart will beat at a perfect rhythmn that You set for him. That his heart would be found to be the epitomy of health. Lord I thank You that Jesus paid for Camden’s healing over 2,000 years ago, and we can take a spiritual withdrawl now, in Jesus’ name… Amen”

Today we received the call and the doctor said, “Camden has a healthy heart and he is just fine”.  Praise the name of Jesus!  He answered our prayers!  I’m just so thankful and if that is the only thing I heard today – it was worth living.

Are you waiting on an answer?  Are you dealing with something that is causing your life to be at a stand still?  I understand and want to encourage you to truly reach out to those that geniunely care and receive their love.  Sometimes God’s love pours out through those he’s placed in our lives.  I’m just glad I was willing to let them in.

sunday @ the well

 Spring Fever Swim Start

It has become a tradition lately to be the “swim guy” at our local triathlons.  I truly enjoy being the last word of encouragement to these eager newbies!  It wasn’t the same without Rachel standing behind our guest service table or Matt striking it up on the bass, but it was so cool to root them on this morning at Spring Fever.  I was, without a doubt, inwardly wanting to put my tri shorts on this morning.  I’m looking forward to get back into training this week and work toward the Redman Half Ironman in September.

 Parking Lot Full of Volunteer Vehicles

Team Well didn’t blink an eye without me early this morning.  I wasn’t able to get to the theater until much later due to volunteering and it didn’t matter.  As I drove up the line up of volunteer cars brought a smile.  I absolutely love serving and volunteering with a passionate heart.  It has become contagious at The Well!  Thank you to all of you that continue to make the set up happen week in and week out!

 Stories of Healing

This morning we started a new series called, “Escape from Alcatraz“.  We were able to share an amazing story from Rebecca, her past hurt, and road to healing.  I’m so thankful for an environment where people feel safe enough to be vulnerable and open knowing that it is O.K.  We also shared the story of Margaret and how Jesus was able to erase all her hurt away.  We gave out small erasers to remind us all that no matter what we’ve been through there’s one that can erase it as we escape from the Alcatraz of past hurts.

 Our Preschool Director

Following this mornings gathering today some of our team grilled out free hot dogs for everyone.  Our Preschool Director, Cassie, hung out while the kids clung to her!  She is truly one of our jewels at The Well!  Camden never stops talking about Cassie and adores her.  We are fortunate to have such an amazing Kids Team and there love for our kids radiates weekly.  

 A Church Family

As we hung out as a church this afternoon it became so evident that we are truly a church family.  Our ladies love each other.  Our men respect and admire each other.  We care about each other’s kids.  I can’t remember truly feeling this way since I was a little boy in San Antonio at a church my parents Pastored for six years.  Last night we got a call at around 1am and Amy didn’t hesitate to go over some friends house to watch their kids while they had to rush another child to the emergency room.  It was an honor and after Caleb turned out O.K. I absolutely loved hugging him this morning knowing he was good to go!

 Inflatables Gone Wild

After the rain out last week from Easter, we still made the decision to bring back the inflatables.  It is never a question rather kids will play on them or not!  I even got to venture a top and was drowned by 4 and 5 year olds as I made the plunge down the huge slide!  Even though the wind was blowing and the temperatures started dropping again, it wasn’t about to stop our Well Kids!

 Guilty as Charged

The inevitable happened this morning as I got a call right before the triathlon started.  ”Ricky just wanted you to know something bad happened.  I accidentally clipped the curb as I was pulling up to the theater”.  It was only a matter of time before these road warriors had an injury.  David is at the theater weekly and is one of the first ones to show up and last ones to leave.  He defines a man with a servant’s heart!  He leaves me messages of prayer and encouragement weekly and I’m grateful to have such men of God around me.  Several of the guys had the jack out and went across the street to Wal-mart and before I knew it the trailer was on its way down the road.  Thanks guys for always remaining positive and creating a solution for every problem.

 Inflatables Being Flated

This is one way to take the air out of an inflatable.  Need I say more?

a childhood friend

 Thursday night brought a pleasant surprise!  One of my closest child hood friends that I haven’t seen in over 16 years came cycling down my street followed by his vintage RV.  Johnny is touring across the south part of the country from California back to Florida.  He already has over 5,000 miles plugged into his bike and it puts my bike miles to shame!  

 He’s a great friend and it was an absolute honor to take him and his buddy Blaze out to dinner.  It is always fun to reminisce about the Mario Brother marathons and never ending Dr. Pepper and candy raids late at night!  It was even cooler introducing him to my family.  Johnny our prayers are with you as you continue your venture to raise awareness about missions.  Thanks for the t-shirt!  If you want to check out his website click here.