further down the road

 Recently I had a great opportunity to sit down for a conversation with another church planter.  Eddie Stephens is the Campus Pastor of LifeChurch.tv in the new Owasso location.  One of my desires is to never stop learning, especially from other guys further down the road from me.  I feel like if we truly look for it, we can learn something from just about anyone we come in contact with if we listen carefully.  I never want to get in a rut and come to a place where you’ve arrived.  Eddie planted a church in south Tulsa before Lifechurch and shared with me highlights and mistakes.  I was able to fire away question after question and soak it in.   Here’s a few things he told me that I think can apply to all of us desiring to grow and move forward in our God-given potential:

1.  Always have 2-3 others you can put complete trust in that can monitor your heart and ask you the tough questions

2.  Look around you and always be pouring into 2-3 with all you have and developing them 

3.  Never be ashamed to tell people how much you love the church and her groom

4.  Cast vision, then cast it again, and then again, every chance you can get

5.  Challenge everyone around you to steward what God has blessed them with: time, money, giftings

6.  Don’t be afraid to delegate and give things away

It was an honor to sit down with Eddie.  In so many ways I’m a young 30 year old Pastor that has no idea what I’m doing.  I’m enjoying the journey and absolutely loving those around me.  This week alone I made two hospital visits to people and am finding out just how much I love my church family.

As you look over some of the statements what could you do better of?  Who in your life might be further down the road and someone you can put some trust in?  Is there anyone that can ask you the tough uncomfortable questions.

13 weeks in

13 weeks into the biggest step of faith I’ve ever taken…… Thoughts?  Realities?  Highlights?  Frustrations?  Greatest joys?  It’s been an interesting journey.  I’m so thankful like Paul wrote in Ephesians 6 “As a slave of Christ do the will of God with all your heart.  Work with enthusiasm.  Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do.”  That’s what I am…. a slave of Christ.  It doesn’t mean my timing is his.  It doesn’t mean all the vision he’s layed in my heart will happen suddenly.  

Yesterday I took a very well needed bike ride out to Blue Creek off of Oolagah Lake.  It was a solid 32 miles of freedom, beauty, solitude, and unawakened a piece of me that has been a little dry lately.  I’ve been tired and have had a little loss of momentum.  But…… as I was climbing the hills in the wind on Hwy 88, I was reminded about life.  I was reminded of my triathlon training.  Life doesn’t just fall on a platter for us.  For some it does and they don’t have to do anything – like those that inherit a business or have the right connection.  But what about the rest of us?  It takes hard work.  It takes endurance.  It takes one hill in the wind at a time, even when it doesn’t feel good.  It is one step in front of the other.  One more lap in the pool.  As I topped the hill on Lowry Road, one of my favorite sites in Claremore, as it overlooks my community, the rush came as I was flying 37mph, passing the beautiful cows in the pasture and looking into the beautiful sky.  It reminded me how incredible God is and his creation.  It reminded me of what he said once, “don’t worry about tomorrow, do I not feed the birds of the sky?”  

There’s a passage in Jeremiah that says, “Plans not to harm you, but prosper you, give you hope and a future”.  Still yet one of my all-time memorized verses I learned in the 3rd grade “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding”.  

13 weeks in and Jesus is still leading this church.  That comforts me.  Why?  Because I’ve never done this before.  At times I second guess myself.  At times I wonder if I truly have what it takes to lead an infant church.  But it doesn’t matter.  He matters.  He holds in the palm of his hand.  I trust him with each day that passes.  Starting a church with nothing but a dream to reach the unchurched, college students, and young marrieds in one of the most churched communities in the country during an economic meltdown – cake walk with Jesus.

Over a year ago a risk was taken not knowing the outcome.  The road to comfort was dismissed.  The security of finances and a job were let go.  The opportunity to live in safety and avoid a deep calling was thrown aside.  It hasn’t been easy.  Each week tests my faith like never before.  But…… it’s an honor and privilege that I still can’t believe he would choose me.  

Humility is something that comes easier with time, because there seems to be no room for pride.  God can cut that out in an instant.  I love something Martin Luther once said and has become a quote I hold closely, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

So….. for those of you that are taking on a new challenge.  A new venture.  A new opportunity or yet to take the step.  Don’t be afraid.  It will be the greatest ride you ever take.  As long as you take Jesus with you and let him be your guide.  He sets the pace.  The moment you get ahead of him is when all frustration will come.  Go for it!  It will without a doubt be the hardest thing you ever do, but one day we can cross a line and say that we’ve given our all, given up comfort and security.  I still hold to a core value that says, “I’d rather take a risk and fail, than take no risk at all!”

claremore longhorns

 A few days ago I felt like I was in a sequel to City Slickers.  There was a little buzz going around in my community and a huge buzz in the Van Pay hacienda as Cambo realized some longhorns were going to stampede through his home front.  For a short time Camden and I felt our Texas roots as we were born there.  He even held up his hands to flash a little hook em horns to all the Sooner fans sitting nearby.  

 Pretty cool day.  We washed the cars and Camden even hosed down some innocent Mormon guys that came into our driveway.  Ahhh… father son bonding.  Later that night headed to Claremore lake and caught one fish and two shoes (that he had thrown in).  Love being a dad…..

sunday @ the well

 Slaves @ John 3:16 Mission

This morning I journaled through Ephesians 6 it said at one point, “As a slave of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart.  Work with enthusiasm.  Remember the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do.”  I love it!  A handful of us got to bring that mentality into The Well on Sunday morning.  We were able to be slaves for Christ at John 3:16 mission this past week!  It was truly a joy to serve alongside a great vision and it always does far more for me!

 First Ever Group Link

3 day weekend in Claremore Oklahoma = lake.  I learned a valuable lesson – there’s no need to compete when it is a fact.  Although many were away glooming in the sun, hopefully getting sunburned, we were getting son-burned!  Ok that was straight up cheezy!  We still had a great response for our first ever Group Link.  We start groups in a week and our church is getting geared up to love each other more than we love ourselves this summer!  It is a summer of straight up authentic relationships!  It’s time we break it down and get to know each other – can’t wait!

 Romantic Worship

 Well for only the 2nd time the breaker blew during worship.  It allowed us to once again refocus all of our thoughts on who we are worshipping too not for.  I’m glad to know that our worship band rolls with the punches, and doesn’t draw attention to themselves, but draws attention to Christ by their attitudes.

 

 

 Parents To Be

 I sent out a face book message earlier last week to see what parents do to discipline their kids.  I was so blown away by how many responses I got from those that aren’t even parents yet!  It was cool to know they are already jumping way ahead in their thought process on how to discipline.  Lets just hope they throw ROD in the mix!  Speaking of mine is refusing to take a nap and might need to have a break with Rod now.

 Last Two Set of Hands

 We knocked down tear down even faster this past week!  It has become one of my favorite times of the day.  Most volunteers are gone after throwing away the last set of bulletins, or the Amen, or getting their kids.  At The Well the tear down process keeps us together for about 30 minutes longer, working together, and encouraging each other.  We get to debrief about the gathering and any chance I get to hang out with my church family longer it is always a win!  The last two sets of hands to push the door locked on our trailer was two elementary kids!  Way to go Tabby & Teddy!

Looking forward to this coming Sunday as we finish out our Parenthood Series.  It will be my favorite topic yet as we truly talk about leading our children in practical ways to become life-long followers of Christ.  We are inviting all of our elementary-age kids to join us, as they help greet and usher as well.  We will take communion together family-style and go at another Group Link – should be good times!  Thank Jesus for an amazing church to be apart of!

sunday @ the well

group interests        

A few weeks away and The Well will launch our first semester of groups!  I’ve been waiting since week one to have new friends over to the garage for more authentic community.  I got an email today from one of our group leaders and if I wasn’t leading one I would be pumped to go to theirs.  We had a bulk more people sign up on Sunday and looking forward to our group link next week!  Darius Johnston, my Pastor whom I worked under for nearly 3 years at Christ Church, always said, “People will stick at a church if they find two things: friends and a job”.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   proper way to give a good game        

This morning was one of the most intimidating messages I have approached and prepared for yet.  It is a tough thing to share with others about something you are still so much in the trenches with – parenting.  I have truly enjoy talking with others and learning.  One of the ways we can better show love to our kids is with a loving touch.  It was obvious us Dad’s can lack in this area.  You’ll have to listen to the podcast to hear that “cupping” is a sin.     

new volunteers filling in the gaps                                                                                                                                                 I’m not sure if they all planned it behind my back, but 75% of our core leadership team was out of town yesterday.  As 930 approached for our team huddle, it was clear to all of us who wore different hats to make it all happen, God allows us to get it done every Sunday regardless of circumstance.  Our team lives to fight through adversity and solves problems on a fly.  A handful of new volunteers stepped up, were trained, and whenever core people are gone it always provides new opportunities for others to get involved!  I’m so glad that even though many were missed, The Well still goes on and isn’t built on any certain people, but all of us!    

visitor comments                                                                                                                                                                                   We had some new families visit and absolutely loved it!  One told me out the door, “we’ll be bringing others back with us next week!”.  Another made a comment on a communication card, “Just praising you all for making me feel so at home, and finally finding a church that I can’t wait till Sunday gets here to come worship and praise my heavenly father!  thank you!”

a sunny sunday                                                                                                                                                                                       Week 12 is history and is was only the 2nd Sunday in the history of The Well that the sun was shining!  Okie weather is so unpredictable…… Just glad people come anyway and are committed.  I love knowing that while key leaders were gone they missed us.  Here’s a comment: “We really didn’t realize how much we would miss our Well family till we weren’t there!!”  

tear down before noon                                                                                                                                                                        I have to admit I was a little concerned with many of our set up team gone how we would make it.  It never fails to surprise me!  We actually broke a new record and had the trailer doors go up at high noon!  I’m so thankful for so many new volunteers that serve.  One text me after church and said, “Thank you so much for the opportunity to serve at The Well, serving has never been so much fun!”

I can’t wait until this Friday as some Weller’s go to serve at John 3:16 mission and spend time with some hurting kids for a few hours.  I’m also looking forward to continuing our series on Parenthood this coming Sunday.  If you know of a discouraged parent send them to The Well as we open up on discipline.  If all else perhaps they can learn from my failures and mistakes!

one on one & gauntlets

 As we have begun a new series on parenting a few weeks ago it has caused me to look inward in a huge way.  I realized that after talking to a good friend, reading several great books, and asking my heavenly father to help me be a better father – I could be intentional regarding one big thing.  

 I noticed that I was having a small disconnect with Camden because most of the time that I am with him, Cale is also with us.  It made me realize that he was losing out on opportunities at his age because I was focusing on chasing around Cale.  Thus we’ve begin scheduling the one on one’s.  I took him out camping Thursday night and we snuggled in a tent watching a movie on my iphone under the stars.  We canoed down river in a quarry, he caught his first fish, and he learned to roast a hot dog over the open fire.  Upon going to sleep that night he rolled over to me and kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you Daddy, I love you.”

 The Well hosted its third Guys Night Out and it was perhaps the most memorable.  A bunch of guys with tents, homemade knives, paintball guns, 60mph winds, heavy rain, lots of food, and fishing poles makes for a great little venture.  

 The gauntlet that was created on our last game of paintball left 5 huge marks on my back – thanks Stevo!  I love sharing memories and making new friends.  Relationships continue to deepen as the brotherhood deepens.  I love my band of brothers and am honored to stand beside them in this journey of faith, hope, and love.

the source

Something keeps coming up this entire week and I can’t shake it.  Sunday night I laid in bed releasing a little discouragement to Amy about a few things.  After 30 minutes she said, “You know I can’t give you the answer you’re looking for.  You know what you need to do.”  How many times do I need to be reminded of this?  Perhaps the greatest words of wisdom from my wife she could give me.  What was she saying?  She was reminding me that she is NOT THE SOURCE.  Yes she’s my wife.  Yes she’s my best friend.  Yes she listens.  Yes she encourages.  Yes she gives me some advice.  Yes she prays for me.  Yes she loves me.  But……. she is NOT THE SOURCE.

I took off Monday afternoon for a jog along the lake.  Before I knew it everything in me longed to get away from the trees and I found myself climbing the side a cliff.  At the top I perched myself on the edge overlooking the highway and the beautiful lake below.  I sat for 10 minutes and couldn’t feel or hear anything.  I prayed, “Holy Spirit, will you wrap yourself around me now and give me answers.  Speak into my heart.  Forgive me of anything that is clogging us.  I need you now.  Here I am away from everything and anyone.  You ARE THE SOURCE and I’m listening”.  I began to break and the answers began to flood.  Long-term answers I’ve been meditating on.  Some risks I need to take.  To be more desperate than ever.  To cast all cares upon him.  

I was led to the passage in 2 Timothy that says, “Keep a clear mind, don’t be afraid, full carry out the ministry God has given you”.  This morning I read, “No one came with me.  Everyone abandon me.  May it not be counted against them.  But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength.  And he rescued me from certain death.  Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom.

As a father, a daddy, a friend, a Pastor, and as a child of God he is my SOURCE.  Who is your SOURCE?  I hear of people whine at times and say, “No one cares about me.  No one prays for me.  No one everyone sends me a message.  No one ever calls me.”  First off, I think when people feel that way it doesn’t matter if someone called them everyday it still wouldn’t be enough.  As a Pastor I honestly want to have tough love and say who is your SOURCE?  If we constantly spend time on the phone for hours, if we spend hours exchanging emails, if we do this or that it is only being a blockade to someone finding the SOURCE.  We train them to think we are the SOURCE.  We are doing them an injustice.  

Can I just be honest out of love?  If you are relying on a counselor, a best friend, a boss, Dr. Phil, Opra, your mom or dad, a sibling, a church, the president, a pastor, or even your pet, or make believe friend to be YOUR SOURCE you will be left wanting.  God created us with a longing only he can fill.  Stop draining others.  Stop whining.  Stop.  Move on to maturity.  Stop waiting on someone to read your mind and stop with the pity parties.  Stop trying to get from everyone else and dumping all your problems when God designed us to only get that from him.  The Well will support, will help pray, will be a listening ear, but will never be YOUR SOURCE, but by all the love out of heaven and by God’s favor we can help point you and set the example of who is THE SOURCE.  Just so you know….. I love you dearly and these were tough words but it is because I truly care enough to speak love in truth.

Thank you Amy for the reminder to the answer of THE SOURCE.  So what do you do when your discouraged?  I would encourage you with what others have found – run to him.  Get far away.  Go take a drive.  Go get alone.  And wait……  Wait some more.   And then…….. since him wrap his arms around you.  He loves you and he’ll do far better than any other person will.  Go now….  and enjoy his presence.

multiplying the garage

 Although we outgrew the garage over a month ago for our team well gatherings, it resurrected itself by hosting our first ever groups training night.  We prayed, laughed, ate, shared stories, and cast the vision for reproducing “the garage” environment all over our community.  I still will never forget the months spent with a small band of brothers and sisters for the rest of my life.  Only two years ago I truly doubted rather or not true authenticity could occur in a church.  I second guessed that people could truly be themselves and not be alone in this journey of messiness and imperfectness.  I found it with new friends and now those that I call my church family.

The first week of June we will launch our home groups to create stickiness within our church.  The purpose is to create smaller authentic communities where people can build relationships and apply God’s word together on a deeper level.  Our theme is “No One Stands Alone”.  I’m already looking forward to getting back into our own garage and forming new relationships as we move forward in a new season within The Well.  Click here for more info on groups.

So what about you?  Do you have any relationships with people that you can truly bare it all?  Can you be brutally honest and know they will love you know matter what?  Do you believe a church environment can contain this?  My desire is that you would.  It is so refreshing sharing our lives with others and allowing others to care for us!

nails on nails

 I absolutely can’t wait until Fridays.  This is the day when my phone gets put to the side, computer gets put away, and I get to focus the entire day with my family.  Recently I realized that most of the time I am with the boys it is usually with both of them.  Tuesday nights Amy heads off to practice with the worship band and it is Van Pay boys night!  I love it!  I love having them both together, but have reached a point that I am going to take far more initiative to spend some one on one time with just Camden.  We went off to the Tulsa Air and Space Museum and had an absolute blast!  If you have small boys this is a great place to knock out a few hours.  Camden got the nickname “Nails” from his uncle and he held true.  He layed down on over 5,000 nails it was awesome!  

I thank God for my boys and don’t want to ever take them for granted.  I am looking forward to doing a lot of camping this summer with them and being outdoors!   What do you do to be more intentional about spending time with your kids or just one?  Something my mom did with me as a kid was something she called, “Ricky Day”.  I still remember after baseball games the trips to Sonic for a #1 with mustard!  I would pop an attitude and she would say, “Where’s my Ricky, you’re not him.  I want my Ricky back”.  It worked every time.

sunday @ the well

 New Teaching Series

I must admit this teaching series has been somewhat intimidating.  It isn’t like we’re bringing 40 years of parental experience to the table.  However, I really feel like Amy and I are in the trenches and dealing with our own issues.  There’s no doubt that if at all else our mistakes will be lessons for others as being parents of small boys.  I am looking forward to calling upon other parents for advice, wisdom, and practical knowledge as we continue to tackle this series for the next 3 weeks.

 First Lady of The Well

 Two words came to mind as I was listening to my wife deliver her first message at The Well: sincerity and quality.  It took me about 4-5 weeks to get comfortable speaking as The Well got kicked off.  It took Amy about 4-5 minutes – she’s a natural!  She layed out the heart of a mother in a huge way!  It was nice to see someone else communicating after 10 straight weeks of my talking head.  I’m looking forward to Amy being apart of our teaching team and adding others as time comes.  This church will never be able just me and my giftings.  I plan on being around for many years and looking forward to others developing on this team.

 An Environment of Authentic Relationships                                                                        As the gathering was dismissed, several people filed out the front doors to tackle lunch early.  But…… 95% of everyone else stuck around in clusters feeling our lobby with conversations.  It was one of the highlights of the morning to see so many people interested in others.  A band of leaders met in my garage this past Friday night and I can’t wait for the first week of June to arrive so we can have more conversations in the living rooms, garages, and other environments where relationships will be our focus.

 Mother’s Day Prayer                                                                                                                                  As the gathering closed it was an honor to have all of our Mother’s stand.  It was a beautiful sight to see everyone else lay a hand in honor of those that have loved us so much.  Amy encouraged each Mother to take a Bible if they needed one – as it would be the greatest resource for a Mom.

 Flexibility of The Band                                                                                                                      I’ve heard of other mobile churches losing power in theaters.  It hadn’t happened to us yet during a Sunday gathering.  Well……. mark us down for one.  It was a great opportunity for us all to remember that worship doesn’t require a song, an instrument, or anything else but our hearts drawn toward our heavenly father.  There was something about that moment as silence entered, that caused us to get away from everything else and remember what it is all about.  Kudos for the band for being flexible and remaining positive!

 The Shadow Guys                                                                                                                                             I remember before we first began this journey, something Billy our main sound guy said.  My goal is that when Sunday happens, “I would fall away in the shadows and go unnoticed”.  What a servant’s heart.  He knows that when attention is drawn his way, it usually isn’t for something positive that happened!  He’s been one of the most faithful volunteers and after 10 straight weeks of getting to the theater at 7, even 6 at times, deserved a week off!  He’s done a great job training others to get on board and I’m so thankful for leaders that train others.

 

I’m looking forward to next week as we continue our Parenthood Series, and will be discussing how important relationships are with our kids, as well as how important our relationship with our spouses is as parents!   My desire is that although so much focus is on our economy and finances right now, that we would not neglect our children and love them like God loves us.  I need to remember that myself over and over as I need to improve as well.