This morning as I headed out to the plains of Northwest Oklahoma I vented a bit. Do you ever have those times in which you just flat-out don’t understand? I was frustrated with some good old life stuff and decided to lay it all out there with my heavenly father. He’s a big God he can take it. So I did. And I did some more. It felt good to be real and transparent because he knows all my thoughts anyway. Normally I spend a good bulk of time in prayer and worship but just couldn’t due to the way I was feeling. Something in me, perhaps a whisper, let me know that later I would look down at the forest of my life, just as he does, and wouldn’t be staring at the trees in front of me.
There is certain things I’ve been praying heavily about. During my fast last month there was specific things I prayed hard for. This morning I felt like perhaps I didn’t pray hard enough and maybe I should go on another fast. The funny part is – like God didn’t hear me the first time right? Late this afternoon something occurred, a big something, that immediately slapped me in the face. It was that whisper. It was the whisper of a heavenly father that knows all my needs and knows all my concerns, and refuses to stop pursuing me. He never leaves me and never forsakes me.
Why do I seem to forget that so often? I get impatient and my type A personality tends to take steps ahead, when he wants me to walk behind him in full trust and faith in what is unseen. I felt like he whispered in my ear and in my heart, “Just stop already. Stop being so impatient and acting like things are up to you! Trust me Ricky. Trust me. I’ll take care of you and know where you are at”.
The funny part about all of this. I found myself at 530pm tonight on a soccer field with my little boy. He had a bad experience last week in which another boy was playing defense and stole the ball from him. He didn’t want to go to practice today. I encouraged him to go out there and that I would be with him. I was looking over his shoulder whispering in his ear the whole practice,
“You can do it Camden…… You’re doing good. Keep trying… Just trust me. Daddy’s right here”. Camden went from total hesitation and fear, to full confidence. The boys lined up at the end and he was the only one to score. Then they all raced from one end to the other kicking their ball and the coach announced Camden the winner! He couldn’t stop hugging me and I couldn’t stop kissing him and telling him how proud I was of him.
As we got into the car, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Through out this day and every day, God is whispering over my shoulder, “You can do it Ricky….. You’re doing good. Keep trying…. Just trust me. Daddy’s right here.”