In Part 1 I discussed how P.R.I.D.E. can enter in and prevent us from growing in different areas of our lives. In this second part I’d like to share three different conversations that provide examples to how this plays out:
“I am starting a weight loss program on December 2012 that will end on Jan 2014. In those 13 months I plan to lose 118 pounds and no it isn’t my wife. It will be a good friend I have carried for several years, ‘FAT” LOL!” Anonymous Pastor
“Do you have a coach? I’m starting coaching huddles in January specifically for church leaders. It will be 12 weeks long, one hour a week, six other pastors, online in a Google + Hangout, focusing on application and accountability. There’s limited spots let me know!” Yours Truly
“I know how and I have never been one who it made much difference if another is involved or not. I just have to set a date so I can get my mind made up and do it. Thank you anyway. I’ll look different in 14 months….. most likely“ Anonymous Pastor
“I really don’t think coaching huddles will work. I can access any kind of information online and I love free sites like Live Strong because of all the articles and tools.” Anonymous Church Planter
“That’s awesome man they have great stuff. They have tons of resources. So tell me then, why are you still struggling to keep weight off if it helps so much?” Yours Truly
“I’ve lost 40 pounds many times from running but will then I put it back on. I’ve done this for 10 years. The truth is I’ve wanted to finish a marathon for years, but always get injured during training. Ricky I turn down speaking engagements because of my weight.” Anonymous Church Planter
“I need your help. I’ve tried so many different ways of getting fit and losing weight. I have accountability in every area of my life but my physical health. I need direction. Will you help me?” District Youth Director
Did you hear the words from the first conversation “I know how” and “If another is involved”. If this man really knew “how” would he be in the place that he’s in? Would he be struggling if he wasn’t going the journey alone? The second conversation is a perfect example of someone having access to tons of resources but overwhelmed with “Where do I start?” My friend hasn’t obtained a lifestyle (which leads to yo-yo dieting), lacks accountability, and lacks specific coaching knowledge (which leads to injuries).
It’s like having a relationship with Jesus and saying we don’t need a pastor, a church, or a small group. We all know what to do, have the greatest resource ever written in the Bible, but it takes a person in your life that is going to provide specific coaching knowledge to you and hold you accountable. Sometimes those that do know “how” and have the most knowledge, tend to struggle the most. Why? I’ve found that it is due to a lack of application and accountability. The most eye-catching comment from above that saddened me the most was “most likely“, because with help it could be changed to “most definitely“.
My purpose in sharing these conversations isn’t to throw these guys under the bus in judgement, criticize, or belittle. I’m just sharing examples of how pride can enter in and hijack our ability to get help. From what I know the first two guys are still in the same boat they were in, but the last guy has since lost over 25 pounds.
Do you see this scenario playing out with those in your church? As a leader do you expect people to come to you for counsel and prayer and get on them when they don’t? I’ve seen this scenario play out in my own life in different areas. I struggle as well and actually in the process of meeting with a marriage coach every week to get help in an area in my life that I’m not an expertise.
I end this post by sharing a great reflection from a friend of mine on this topic:
“We expect everyone to come to us for spiritual coaching, but we can’t go to others for physical coaching? Is that Matthew 7:5? When a mechanic has problems with his roof he calls a roofer. He doesn’t know how to flash so water stays out. So…. You know the Bible and the body of Christ, but you need help with your “roofing”.
So….. what about you? In what area do you need help? Do you find it hard to apply knowledge even with an unlimited amount of tools and resources? What would cause you to move forward? What “roofer” do you need to call to help in your fitness?